Waves Breaking Over Rocks Part 1
by Hermione8888
Summary: Finnick and Annie should get their own book! Here is the first half of Annie's journey through the worst life imaginable with the best person imaginable. Suzanne Collins owns most of it and some scenes are from other fics, but I believe them to be true Please review & enjoy! Read the continuation: Waves Breaking Over Rocks Part 2
1. Annie

Annie

I wake up sweating.

District 4 is always hot and very humid, but I love it. Every day, I go and get shells from the beach by our house, and make them into jewelry. But today is different.

"Cora! Cora, wake up!" I say, shaking my older sister. "We're going to be late to the reaping!"

She wakes, sitting straight up; Coral, or Cora, is always all or nothing about everything. She's very beautiful, with red wavy hair, not like mine, which is not nearly as shiny and manageable. Her eyes, instead of being my aqua green are a warm brown that attracts boys like honey-drawn flies. She is very responsible, taking up all the things mom used to do before she died. She's getting married next month. We're very happy for her, and so is she. She's fanatic about her wedding, picking out dresses and making lists. Her fiancé's name is Spencer, and he's very nice, a bit awkward, and rich.

I hear some yelling coming from downstairs. I recognize it as Arnav. He and Dad come up the stairs and Arnav is crying.

"But what if Annie gets picked?!" Arnav yells as tears flow from his rosy cheeks. I am the only member of my family eligible for the Hunger Games, with Arnav at 7 and Cora at 21. I'm 17.

Arnav has always been worried that I might get picked for the Games. My family and I always tell him it's very unlikely, but as we leave the house, I start getting worried, too.

We arrive at the Town Square, in front of the Justice Building. I can see Garcia, the District 4 escort and the other victors: Mags, a very nice-looking woman around 80, with white curly long hair and a kind smile, Gabriela, a dark-haired twenty-three year-old with tan skin who won using a smart strategy that Mags used: putting poisonous berries in parachutes so tributes would eat them, Triton, a thirty year-old victor with startling sky blue eyes and blonde hair that won using a sword, and, of course, the famous Finnick Odair. He has beautiful golden hair and eyes of the same green as the ocean. He is muscular, but not intimidating, and extremely sexy. Coral had been obsessed with him from when she was 10 to 17. He just seems arrogant and selfish to me.

Garcia clears her voice on the microphone and I get more nervous. I tell myself that's crazy, that the odds are in my favor.

"Welcome, welcome. To the 70th annual Hunger Games, where we choose, one fortunate man and woman, to compete in this luxury event! Now we will choose our two tributes. As usual: ladies first!" She walks over to the glass urn, sashaying with her blue dress. She picks up a paper and clears her throat. "Annie Cresta!"

Everyone turns to me, but I don't see them. My feet move before I can register the fact that I am going to die. Tears are flowing down my face and I want to crawl in a hole and die. I get up on the stage, next to Garcia and look around me, but I can't register any sound.

Finnick Odair doesn't look as arrogant now, only sad and regretful, Mags looks like it, too. The other victors look fine with my situation.

I look at the ocean one more time, where I grew up; my home. Then I feel a hand on my back, pushing me and whoever is the other tribute into the Justice Building.

Inside, I am out into a room where my family is supposed to meet me. They have three minutes to say goodbye.

Cora comes in to first, her eyes dry. Coral never cries, not ever.

"Annie, be brave, be strong. Listen Annie! Try to win!" Cora says, shaking me. She gives me a hug that lasts the remaining two minutes. Then the door opens and the Peacekeepers take her away.

Arnav crashes into me, almost knocking me off my chair, giving me a big hug. Arnav has always been the sweetest of his age. He loves playing with mini-figures, unlike the other boys, who play that they are in the Hunger Games. He wants to be a lifeguard when he grows up so he can rescue any stray whales or fish. Cora says he's sort of like me. She thinks I am too soft, too nice, for a seventeen-year old girl. I think so too, but I wouldn't change me, except to maybe take away my freckles.

Father hugs me after Arnav, telling me to be strong, and to try to win.

As soon as Father leaves, I start to cry again. I don't wanted to be in these games, I want to be the girl that collects seashells and cries over lost kittens and wouldn't hurt a fly.

The Peacekeepers enter the room and escort me to the train. I'm too weak to resist. My knees feel weak and it's hard to walk, but I try for Cora's sake.

"You will be going to dinner now." A Peacekeeper tells me.

"There, you will meet your mentors and discuss the Games." Another one adds.

They lead me through a beautiful hall. It has chandeliers and tables of types of wood I'd never seen before. I walk into a dining pavilion.

In the middle of the room, there is a huge table full of food. I recognized many types of fish, but most of the other foods were unknown to me.

On one chair sits old Mags. She seemed to be talking to Finnick, but when I enter she looks at me and smiles. She pats a chair next to her, inviting me to sit. I go and sit in the chair.

In front of me sits Finnick Odair. He looks even more handsome close-up. Not that I care. He is probably as arrogant close-up as he is from far away.

Next to him sits a boy I don't know. He is very big and intimidating, but not a volunteer.

"Well, now that we're all here, I suppose we can talk a little, if you want. Something I like to do with tributes is have them introduce themselves, telling us about them. Of course, Finnick and I will do the same." Mags says. I notice she has a kind voice and acts very motherly. "If you want, I'll start." She adds. I feel relieved because I'm sometimes a little shy, especially now that we were heading toward certain death. "Well, I'm Mags Cohen. I won the 12th Hunger Games. I like making fishhooks and tying knots. I will be mentoring Tyson."

"But I was supposed to mentor him." Finnick Odair whispers _. Not so confident now, are you?_ I think, then immediately correct myself. That was very mean to think. Mags smiles mischievously and says:

"There's been a change of plans."

"Well, anyway, Tyson, your turn." Finnick says.

"Um… I'm Tyson Delmar. I'm eighteen and I like fishing and wrestling." The other tribute says.

"Well, I'm Finnick Odair, twenty. I won the 65 Hunger Games, but of course you already know about me. What about you, beautiful?" He says to me, winking. Cora would faint, even four years after her obsession ended. I feel my cheeks getting hot, though.

"I'm Annie Cresta. I'm seventeen years old. I like… well, making seashell jewelry and tying knots." To my surprise, Finnick smiles and for once, it looks honest.

I try my food. It is better than anything I've ever tasted. It fills my mouth with different flavors, most of which are completely foreign.

Even though it is delicious, I have to try hard to keep it down. Every time I think about the Games, it rises up in my throat. Mags and Finnick start talking, but I am not in the mood for it. I stand up and walk to what the Peacekeepers told me was my room. In the safety of the room, I start to cry.

I can't kill anyone. I can't do it. I can't watch anyone die in front of me. I would rather die myself. The only reason I try to win is that Cora wants me to, and if I do, I'll see Arnav and Father again.

The door opens and Finnick comes in, lacking his usual flair.

"Hey Annie. Are you ok?" I shake my head. _No I'm not ok! Why would I?! Oh wait, I forgot, you had fun killing people!_ He comes into the room, even though I don't want him to. He sits down beside me on the bed, looking a bit rueful. "Did you know your little brother came up to me in the Justice Building? He told me that if I didn't teach you how to fight with a trident, he'd kick me." I smile against my will, thinking about the adorable and sweet little boy that had the misfortune to be my brother.

He thought that if you could fight with a trident, it would be easy to win the Hunger Games ever since he saw Finnick win.

"He's the best little brother a girl could hope for. And my older sister Cora, too. She's getting married in a month. And now…" I started crying again. "…now I will never go."

"Annie, it's ok to be afraid. I was afraid in my first Games." I stop crying, surprised. Finnick Odair had smiled when his name had been called. "I cried for days in the train, scared that I would die. That I would never see my family again." His eyes have a faraway look, as if he was re-living the moments before his Games. "But enough about me, let's talk about you." He says, smiling, back in the present. I had never expected to hear Finnick Odair say 'enough about me, let's talk about you'.

"Well, where do I start? Um… my mother died when I was ten. She was a lot like Coral. Now, I live with my Father, Coral, and Arnav. Father is a strict man, but he knows the right times to show compassion and kindness. Coral, or Cora as I like to call her, is very responsible. She's very beautiful, too. She basically took up everything that Mom used to do. She raised me and Arnav since Father is always at work. Arnav is the sweetest little boy ever. He takes care of everyone and never says anything negative. He is not like the other boys, who like playing rough games. He's calm. Cora says I'm too soft, though. She calls me Shell as a nickname, because I like to collect them and I'm as easy to break. And, Finnick, I can't kill anyone." The tears are back in my eyes and I try to wipe them away quickly.

"Believe me, Annie, as much as I hate it; that will change when you're in the Games."


	2. A Six-Sugarcube Kind of Girl

_I can't sleep._

I keep thinking about the Games and about Cora and how it is perfectly easy for her to be strong, but I'm weak. I always have been.

I hear a knock on my door.

"Get up! It's time for breakfast!" I hear Garcia say from the hall.

I suppose I haven't slept at all.

I get dressed, putting on the simplest clothes in the dresser: a green tee-shirt and a white skirt that reaches my ankles. I open the door and see Garcia knocking on Tyson's door. She seems to think it is nice to look like a fish, being the District 4 escort, so her dresses always resemble one.

I walk down the hall, trying to remember where the dining room was. I open a door and find it empty. Except for Finnick.

"Hey Annie. Sleep well?" I shake my head. "Of course you didn't. Oh well, come join me, the coffee here is delicious."

"Sure." I sit down in front of him, in the same chair I sat yesterday. He takes a little white sugarcube and puts it in his palm, and then he runs a hand through his hair and leans forward, putting his elbow on the table.

"Do you want a sugarcube?" He says in an extremely seductive voice. I blush, still not accustomed to his jokes. He laughs and takes a mug out from a nearby tray. He fills it with coffee. "How many sugarcubes do you want in your coffee?" He says.

"I don't know, I've never had coffee before. What is coffee, anyway?" He smiles a very natural smile that looks nothing like the smirk he has on TV. This natural smile looks a lot better, and I see he also has dimples.

"I think you should get six sugarcubes. You just seem like a six-sugarcube kind of girl."

"Why am I a six-sugarcube kind of girl?" I ask.

"Because you seem very sweet. Now, as to what coffee is: coffee is the magical beverage made from coffee beans. They don't have coffee trees in District 4." I realize that maybe Finnick Odair isn't as bad as I thought. I wish I could be friends with him.

"Finnick?"

"Hhm?" He says, looking up from his coffee.

"Can we be friends?" I ask timidly. He smiles that natural smile and says:

"Of course we can, Annie. I thought we already were." He pouts a little and makes his eyes go wider, giving the impression that he is a sad puppy. I laugh, thinking of how great it is to have a mentor like him.

"I wish I'd never met you." I realize out loud. Finnick actually looks a little hurt.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because the fact that I know you means I'm in the Hunger Games." He nods and says:

"I wish so too. Except I just wish I'd met you somewhere else. In the market, perhaps."

"Yes." I say. He seemed to be able to make me smile even in a dark conversation.

"Well, you'd be walking around, looking lost, and I, ever gentleman-like, would come to your aid. I would ask you your name and tell you that you look lovely." He says and I laugh. Mags enters the room and I realize I had forgotten everything about the Games. Finnick had made me forget.

But Mags wasn't smiling.

"Finnick, you have your first client tomorrow." _Client_? I don't understand. But Finnick's face darkens and his grin has vanished completely, replaced by a deep frown. And tomorrow we would be arriving in the Capitol; District 4 is one of the closest districts there.

"Excuse me, Annie." He says and walks out without another word. I hear a door slam father down the hall and a barely audible frustrated yell.

"What do you mean?" I ask Mags. She shakes her head and leaves, leaving me confused as to the true Finnick; the one that only he and Mags can see.

 _One day later…_

I wake up to the usual knocking on my door.

"Wake up, Annie! We will arrive at the Capitol in ten!" I rub my eyes. I had terrible nightmares last night, nightmares about Finnick and blood and the Games and the Capitol.

I get up and stretch. I open the closet and take out a nice green dress. I get out of my compartment and almost bump into Tyson.

"Oh, hey Annie." He says.

"Good morning, Tyson. Do you know what we're doing today?" I ask. No one ever told me what happens when you get to the Capitol. He smiles and I note that he doesn't look as intimidating with a smile.

"We're getting shown around the hotel we'll be staying in, then we're allowed a rest. Tomorrow, you'll meet with your mentors and stylists to get ready for the tribute parade. Are you ok, Annie? I saw your reaction at the reaping. Don't be scared, you'll do fine in the Games, maybe even win." The train suddenly stops and I have to steady myself on the wall for balance. I walk down the hallway, following Tyson. I realize he's very friendly, and I have a sudden urge to be friends.

But I know I shouldn't be friends with him.

Because one of us is going to die.

And it's going to be me.

I know I don't stand a chance against him, and if I couldn't kill anyone before, I certainly can't kill such a nice guy. Besides, by the looks of him, he will be a Career.

I walk outside and get my first glimpse of the Capitol.

I hear the loud cheers before I see the huge crowd. Hundreds of strange people are cheering and clapping their hands.

I get very nervous. Another thing about me is that I'm extremely shy at first, and being in front of a hundred people makes me nervous and frightened. It doesn't' help that every single person out there has a different color skin and hair; in purples and blues and pinks, they all have a series of tattoos; either flames or lines, and some of them even have claws or whiskers. I want Finnick because he'd know what to do. But he is nowhere to be seen. Maybe this has something to do with his 'client'.

Instead, I go to Mags, she takes my hand in her wrinkled one and squeezes it comfortably. Then, she whispers:

"Don't be nervous, Annie, just smile and wave." I try to do as she tells me, but I probably look fake. Nevertheless, the crowd follows us until we enter the tribute hotel.

I gasp in awe as I look at the furniture, full of edges and it's completely smooth. The whole place is painted in bright colors that are nothing like the District 4 light wood and straw.

My house in District 4 was a small two-floor house with both floors made of dry straw knitted together. The walls were thin and painted in light blues and browns of the color of the sand. There were shells encrusted into some walls, something that's typical in 4.

My room was painted green like the District 4 Ocean when it's calm. It's my favorite color. There were rows of shells lined vertically on the walls. My bed was a simple mattress framed with wood.

Cora's room was a beige color, like most of the house. Her mattress is bigger than mine and also has a wood frame. A big difference between our rooms is that mine was full of shell jewelry and ropes and hers had tons of Finnick Odair posters. Now that I know him, it seems silly to have your room full of posters of him. He's normal, maybe even better than normal, inside.

Arnav's room had dark blue walls with boat designs. His floor was littered with toys. We aren't very rich, so he doesn't have many, just his toy trident and a dozen toy boats.

I am brought back to reality by Mags.

"So, do you like it?" She asks Tyson and me.

"Yes, it's a lot better than my house." He answers. I swallow, not wanting to lie to Mags but not wanting to tell her my thoughts on it. She looked me over and smiled and I knew she could see right through me.

My room isn't much better than the rest of the penthouse. The only thing I like about it is a window to the streets. I find a remote on the nightstand and decide to try it out. When I click a button, the window changes and instead of the Capitol I see a forest. I have never seen a forest before, except for in the Games. I clicked the button and instead I saw mountains. There are no mountains in 4, either. I click the button again and gasp at the familiar sight:

The District 4 beach.

I sit on my bed, staring at the sea, for hours. Then, Garcia comes into my room with Mags. Garcia looks unfazed by what I'm looking at, but Mags looks sad.

"Come on, Annie! Dinner!" Garcia says excitedly. I'm not hungry. I want to curl up in bed and stare at the sea that I will never see again and cry. Instead, Garcia walks over to my nightstand and picks up the remote. "Urgh, who put this one up?" She clicks the button and instead it shows a side view of the Arena from the outside. I start to cry. Garcia looks mildly confused. "What's wrong, Annie?" But she could never help me. She doesn't understand.


	3. Mermaid

Mermaid

Mags leads Garcia out of my room, which I am very thankful for. I've had enough of the Capitol for a day. Slowly, Mags closes the door and goes to my nightstand. She picks up the remote and changes it to the sea again. Then she sits down beside me and simply pulls me into a motherly hug. I cry for hours, well-past dinner.

I cry remembering Cora's responsible nature. She always works her hardest, no matter what. And no one ever thanks her. Ever.

I remember Arnav's little dimples when he smiles and his compassion and kindness. A little boy who does what he's told and doesn't lie.

For some reason Finnick comes to mind. I see him smiling with his natural smile which shows his hidden dimples and his sea green eyes when he told me how he'd like to meet me.

It all feels like it happened a long time ago, but it only just did.

I wake up alone, not realizing how I'd fallen asleep. There is a familiar knock on the door that signals it is time for breakfast and I walk out and push past Garcia. I have forgiven her by now, after all, she's a Capitol citizen and she can't help it.

I walk to the dining room, where plates full of exquisite food are placed. I hear my stomach grumble and I realize how hungry I am. I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday.

"So, as you all know, today is the Tribute Parade. Your prep team has already arrived so I recommend you eat fast." Garcia says.

"Where is Finnick?" I ask, confused. Finnick is my mentor; he is supposed to be there with me, always. Mags shakes her head and answers:

"Finnick will meet you in the parade, I'm afraid."

"Yes, he had _something to attend to_." The way Garcia said the word 'something' chilled me to the bone. Mags winces. I know that this has something to do with his 'clients'.

The door opens and three peculiar people come in. Peculiar in the sense that one of them has hot pink skin with a pattern of red flames that actually glows and orange hair. Another has cat whiskers and claws and their skin is orange with black stripes. The third has green skin and has flowers sprouting from his yellow clothes.

"Who should we do first?" The hot-pink woman asks.

"The girl, I think. She's going to need some work." The cat-woman says. The man with the flowers nods his head and takes my arm, leading me to another room.

"I'm Florio, this is Tigris and Rosalie. Your stylist, Louis, will come by later to get on your outfit for tonight." He smiles and I can see that he had surgery to make him more handsome.

In the room, the members of my prep team open us heavy-looking bags that they had been carrying. Inside, I can see every type of makeup and hair product in existence.

"Sit, dear. What's your name?" Rosalie asks, pulling out a chair, her red flames somehow glowing more brightly.

"I'm Annie Cresta." I answer. Florio frowns.

"My, my, those freckles are going to need a lot of work. Avoid the Sun, dear, if you can help it." I want to tell him that I can't avoid the Sun, but Tigris stops me.

"You need to take a bath, Annie. We're going to have to wash all that horrid salt from your hair. Take off your clothes, please." I blush a deep red. Somehow, I hadn't thought that they'd need to take off my clothes. In District 4, nudity is not a big deal, many people go naked to the beach. It's different here, though. This is the Capitol and these are not my wonderful childhood companions, they're strangers. Nevertheless, I had to. I slowly take off my dress, leaving me exposed to their curious gazes.

Rosalie frowns and says:

"Well, I guess we don't have much to work with."

They prepare a bath for me. I had never taken a bath that wasn't in the sea before, there was no need, but now, I am intrigued by the colorful bubbles and sweet perfumes that come from the bathtub. I slowly go into the hot water and almost immediately jump out. It's hot, not like the warm District 4 water that gets cool in the winter, but hot like the sand when it's been out in the Sun too long.

"Come on, Annie, you act like you've never taken a bath before." I want to tell her I haven't, but Tigris pushes me back into the water.

At first, it burns, then it feels calming, wonderful. I let them rub the soft oils on my skin and cleanse my hair. When I come out of the tub, they put me in this little room, not bigger than a storage closet with glass walls. They press a button and air comes out from all sides of my cage, drying me instantly. I step out and sit back down on the chair. Florio takes out something that looks like paper, but I know its shaving wax because Cora uses it. He puts it on my leg and yanks it, taking with it all of my light-red, almost invisible leg hair. My leg burns and I have to hold back coming tears. Florio keeps doing it all over my legs until they look perfect, then he takes out all of the makeup from the bag.

Rosalie takes over, taking a skin-color bottle and putting a little bit of cream on her finger. She then puts it all on my face and spreads it with a brush. She keeps adding different creams until she's satisfied and then takes out an eyeshadow pallet. She takes out an eyeshadow brush and paints my eyes with bright whites and soft greens that spread out from my eyelid to the side of my head and a bit of my forehead in a pattern similar to that of the waves. She adds the final touch and examines my face. Then she lets go and moves aside.

Tigris takes out the contents from the final bag- all the hair products I'd seen before. She gets to work, curling my hair and putting it up in twists I can't see. They apparently think it is a good idea to let me be surprised when they're finished. Luckily, I don't think she is using any dyes, just curling it with some strange machine that looks like a cylinder.

Finally, she finishes and brings me a mirror.

At first I don't recognize my reflection.

The girl in the mirror has no freckles, her face is perfect, with rosy cheeks and skin that is the same pale, yet shiny tone. Her eyes are bright, the same color as the blue-green color that surrounds her eyes in a pattern of waves. Her rad hair is shiny and is put up in fantastic curls on top of her head then curls down one side, a style I recognize from a recent victor, Cashmere.

I look absolutely stunning and beautiful, something I'm not used to being. I look even prettier than Cora in her best of days.

The door opens and I realize I'm only wearing a robe. A man comes in. He has blue skin and a pattern of waves that look like they move across his skin.

"Well, hello, Annie. I am your stylist, Louis. Now, let's get to work. Take off your robe so I can get on your outfit for today." I do as he asks and he frowns. "Well, I was expecting a little bit more from a seventeen year-old girl, but we can make it work." I am sick of people telling me I'm small for my age as if I don't already now. Louis opens up the bag he'd been carrying and pulls out what I think is some sort of beautiful fish. He unfolds the fabric and I realize that it's a mermaid costume. The scales of the tail are the same sea color as my eyes and makeup and contrasts finely with my red hair.

Louis wraps my shell bra around my breasts and has me fit into the tail. I try to walk to the mirror in the tight tail that squishes my legs together. I look like a real mermaid with the thick but stretchy material covered in shiny scales and the shells the Tigris is stringing into my hair.

"Is she ready?" Garcia enters, then stops, looking at me. "Oh, you look absolutely beautiful. The sponsors are going to love you!" She says. I'm confused about what sponsors are, but Finnick is supposed to tell me about them tomorrow, when mentors meet with their tributes to discuss the Games. Behind her Tyson appears, his face similarly painted except with black instead of white. He's wearing the same tail as I am, and now I can see the muscles in his torso. He's holding a trident. He doesn't look beautiful like the mermaid I embody, but like a strong and intimidating triton. We are taken down to where the parade will start.

I am in a huge room, filled with twelve chariots and twenty-two other children, all wearing slightly silly costumes. Some of them aren't silly at all, they look wonderful. The District 1 tributes are wearing blinding white outfits with jewels embedded in them. The District 2 are wearing silver armor and are holding swords and javelins. Most of the rest are silly, especially the District 12, who are wearing nothing at all except of a layer of black paint.

The double doors we'd been led through re-open and Finnick comes in.

He doesn't look as charismatic as usual, in fact, he looks beaten. He has bruises all over him and his hair is messy. He has shadows under his green eyes, which aren't glowing anymore, but look sad. However, they lit up when they saw me.

"Annie, you look great." I smile at the compliment. Besides Mags, Finnick is the only person whose opinion I value these days, and besides, it's not every day you get called beautiful by the great Finnick Odair. Cora would faint.

Mags gestures to our chariot. I hear a loud: Two minutes! From the speakers. I'm about to get on when I feel a push and fall to the side, hitting the ground painfully. I look up to see the District 2 male smirk as he walks away. Tyson is instantly next to me, helping me up. I see Finnick making his way over to the District 2 chariot, a very angry expression on his face. He starts talking to Brutus, and I can make out him saying things like: 'control your tributes!'

"Tributes, get on your chariots, the parade will begin in five seconds." I get on my chariot along Tyson, careful for any more tributes. Then the doors open and I get a glimpse of the courtyard before we start moving.

I hear the cheer of the crowd and the national anthem before we even leave. As soon as we do, I see the huge crowd of Capitol citizens cheering for us. There are even more of them than the ones that welcomed us into the Capitol.

We ride across the yard, waving to the cheering crowd. I see posters that say things like: 'District 1!' or any other District. I see a dozen of them that say things close to 'Annie, tell Finnick I love him!' or 'Tyson, tell Finnick that Isabella misses him!' My smile falters, _how can they say they love him if they haven't ever met him?_

We turn back around and I look up. On a balcony, I can easily see President Snow smiling at us. I hate him. I'd always thought that 'hate' was a terrible feeling and that it was wrong to feel. But I hate him.

We go back into the chariot room and get off, exhausted. The parade had probably only lasted for about half an hour, but it'd been draining. I can't wait to lie in bed, even if it isn't my own.

We walk to the tribute dormitories, getting constantly praised by Garcia.

"Tyson, great job out there! You looked very scary, I bet everyone wants to sponsor you now! You were outstanding! I think you can get in with the Careers for sure." She babbles on, ignoring me as if I have no chance of winning, which I don't.

"Annie, you did great, too. I bet you'll get just as many sponsors. They loved you." Finnick says with a wink, making me feel better even though it's probably not true.

"Oh, yes, they'll be talking about how beautiful you looked forever!" Garcia says. Finnick flinches, as if she'd said something bad, but he hides it with a smile and keeps walking. It seems only Mags and I noticed it.

We arrive and I try to go to my room but Garcia stops me.

"Tonight, you'll be allowed to sleep late, you don't have anything to do tomorrow except talk with your mentor." She says and walks off. I'm about to turn back around when something catches my eye.

I see Finnick open the door sadly, saying goodbye to Mags, and heading out.

I turn and get into my room. I change into my sleepwear and switch the window to the sea. I climb in bed without giving a second thought to Finnick or Garcia.


	4. Annie's Nightmare

_I look around me._

 _On every side of me, there's a dense forest that looks exactly like the one on the window. I have nowhere safe to go to._

 _There are twenty-three other metal plates, same as the one I'm standing on, spread in a circle surrounding the large silver horn. In the horn is a display of weapons and backpacks. I see wickedly sharp swords, metal bows and arrows, wood javelins, and silver tridents._

 _I turn my head to see who's beside me. It's Finnick. He smiles a cocky smile that chills me to the bone and turns back to look at the Cornucopia. On the other side of me is Coral, looking straight ahead. I try to scream but it's futile; no sound comes out. A bit farther down I see Mags and Arnav. I fill with fear that makes my blood roar in my ears._

 _I hear the countdown: Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven…_

 _I am confused and afraid: why are these people in my Games?_

 _…Three! Two! One! I hear a loud boom and run to the big forest, grabbing a close-by knife, knowing there is no way I could survive the bloodbath._

 _I'm so concentrated on running I don't see the small shape in front of me. I bump into her full-force and hit the ground painfully. I quickly sit up to see the familiar face of Mags. She smiles her kind, motherly, smile and suddenly, there's something protruding from her chest. A knife. I look down at my hand, which is now empty even though I can't remember ever throwing my knife._

 _Mags doubles over and falls to the ground._

 _I run, faster than I've ever run before, and come across another person._

 _I stop short as I spot the person._

 _He's tangled up in vines that can move and are squishing him, making his skin blue. He tries to free himself, but his weak little body isn't strong enough to fight off the vines. He tries hard to breath, but he will be dead in a matter of seconds._

 _"Annie! Annie help! Annie why aren't you coming?!" I hear Arnav scream, but my feet can't move. They're planted on the ground and I can't run to help him. I try to yell but all that comes out is silence. His skin turns purple and his eyes bug out._

 _"Annie!" He screams and his eyes explode, sending blood everywhere. His body gives out and the vines release him. He tumbles to the ground and I can no longer see my little brother, only the bloody carcass of a broken boy. My feet can move again, but instead of taking me to Arnav's side like I want, they take me farther off into the forest._

 _I run and run, deeper into the awful forest, remembering Arnav's empty eye sockets and his usually brown hair a deep shade of red._

 _I hear a loud buzzing sound and recognize it from another Game. Tracker Jackers._

 _Tracker Jackers are genetically engineered wasps, whose sting produces searing pain and powerful hallucinations. Then I hear screams._

 _I turn to one side to find the source of the screams._

 _Cora, who is a fighter, who never gives up, who never, ever, needs help, who never cries and never complains, is on her knees with her hands flying about, trying desperately to swat away the wasps. They're on every inch of her skin. I can't move anymore, like before, I can't run away or run to her._

 _"Annie! Annie help!" She screams when she opens her eyes to look at me. The wasps go on her vulnerable open eyes and she screams louder. They go into her mouth, now. She chokes and coughs and blood comes out, but the Tracker Jackers keep coming in. She struggles to breathe, and, as she takes one big breath, more wasps enter through her mouth onto her lungs, killing her from within. They fill up her lungs and she obviously can't breathe anymore until, suddenly, she drops fully to the ground, twitching, and then stops completely._

 _I know the wasps are going to come after me now, so I run, back deeper._

 _Somehow, I've outrun them. I don't hear or see a single one, but I keep running just in case._

 _The sky turns dark and I finally stop running, trying to catch my breath. I lean back against a tree. But instead, I feel something soft and wet. I feel behind me with my hand and find more of the sticky stuff, but I'm afraid to turn around. I bring my hand back to my face and, using the moonlight, make out its dark red tone._

 _I shift and feel something extremely heavy on the back of my body. I fall to the ground and roll out from underneath the shape. I struggle to turn around the slimy solid so I can see it better._

 _I see a huge red mass, with red hair and red skin. The only other color in the whole thing is the green of his eyes. Finnick._

 _I scream louder than I thought possible. I check his pulse but find nothing. He feels cold and his chest doesn't rise and fall. He simply stares into space, into something I can't see. His expression is somewhat of surprise. There's a huge hole in his stomach and the blood is fresh._

 _"Annie." I hear someone hiss behind me. I slowly turn around, afraid of what I might see. I know who he is as soon as I see his face, his cow-like brown eyes and silky brown hair and huge build. It's Tyson. He smiles, but it's not his usual kind smile. This one is evil. He takes out his sword and moves it back, prepared to strike. I swear I can hear someone calling me. Must be an angel. Annie! Annie! Annie!_

 _Tyson swings his sword and then there's nothing._


	5. Sweetheart

I no longer see Tyson, instead I see nothing. All I can do is listen to that melodic voice, calling me closer.

"Annie!"

I open my eyes and see a very worried-looking Finnick looming over me.

"Annie, are you ok?" He asks.

"You're alive?" I ask, confused. I saw him die, saw his blood on my hands and clothes and his green eyes stare off into space. And then I realize it's not real. "Oh, I was having a nightmare, wasn't I?" He nods.

"Annie I heard you scream when I came in." And then I notice that he's covered in bruises again, with deep bags under his eyes.

"Came in from where?" I wonder. He noticeably stiffens as he answers:

"Nowhere important. Now, it's almost time to wake up, anyway. It's seven-thirty." He says and pulls me into a comforting hug. And I realize how scared I am. Tears start flowing from my face, wetting his shirt. I sniff, but I can't hold the tears in. I think about Mags, a ghost of a smile on her face as she died, all because of me. I see Arnav's little face pale, his eyes gone, and instead dark currents of blood coursing through his face. I think back to Cora, how she choked on Tracker Jackers and how they were probably filling her lungs and how she couldn't breathe. And Finnick. He has been helping me all along, even now, holding me as I cry. And I see him covered in blood and I see his green eyes staring off into somewhere far away, something only he can see, but I know he can't see anything. Finally, I think about Tyson, and how he'd killed me in the arena. I know I can't face him anytime soon. I retell my nightmare to Finnick, who listens carefully.

When I finish my story, he looks at me in the eyes, smiles sadly, and says:

"You know, Annie, most tributes go mad _after_ they've become Victors."

He takes my hand and leads me to breakfast. Once we're in the dining room, he helps me sit down and gives me a cup of coffee. He takes out a box full of the sweet delights he loves and takes out a few. He drops some into my coffee and I count them. Exactly six.

"So, today we are supposed to talk about strategies because tomorrow is your interview." I nod and take a sip of coffee. The delicious warm taste fills me and I feel a lot better.

We eat breakfast in mostly silence, but I can tell Finnick is studying me, looking me over, trying to decide on possible ways to win the sponsor's favor.

I finish my coffee and Mags and Tyson come in. I scream, thinking Tyson is going to kill me again. Finnick seems to understand because he takes him and Mags outside to talk. A few minutes later, they come back in. Tyson sits in the chair farthest from me, careful to keep his distance. I am thankful to him, but I'm still somewhat scared.

"Well, today, as you both know, is the day we will discuss our strategies for the Games. Tyson, you will train separately with Mags, Annie, you'll go with me." Finnick gets up and walks away, beckoning me to follow. I do so and he leads me to another room, this one has a few couches lined at the walls and a nice fire going in the fireplace.

"So, Annie, I've been thinking about a few strategies that would suit you. The choice is yours, though. I'll tell you the basic categories that every tribute bases their attitude on, then what I think suits you." I nod and gesture for him to continue. "You can have an intelligent approach. This might not get you as many sponsors as some of the others but it will get the attention of the rich businessmen. You can have the weak approach, in which you must act like you're afraid, you need to cry, and you need to show everyone how defenseless you are. This will get you very few sponsors if any, but it will convince the other tributes that you're not important enough for their attention. You could go for the strong approach which is always a gold mine, but after your reactions to everything I doubt people will believe you. You can simply stay in the middle, not catching anyone's attention. The tributes in the arena will ignore you until it's necessary but you will get no sponsors. You can choose the funny approach. The sponsors will love you and again the tributes won't mind you. There is the sweetheart approach. With it you will win the hearts of the citizens and again, the tributes will think you're weak. Finally, there is the sensual approach." He looks like he wants to vomit, all of a sudden. "If you use it, you will have to expose yourself both mentally and physically, and seem confident, like I did. You will get tons of sponsors this way and the tributes won't be worried about you. But, Annie, listen to me, don't even think about choosing it. Anyway, seeing as I'm your mentor, you won't find any trouble when it comes to finding sponsors. So you just have to take the one that you're most comfortable with. The ones that I think you'll succeed the most with are: the weakling approach, the stay-in-the-middle approach, and the sweetheart approach. With your small frame and pretty face, you'll succeed in all of them." I blush slightly, thinking about his compliment. I think about the strategies he offered me and come up with a decision.

"I want to go for sweetheart." I say, remembering how Cora had often called me sweet and nice. Finnick smiles and says:

"I suppose you won't need to act, then." I smile at his compliment.

"Can you tell me what sponsors are?" I ask him, thinking back to his constant mention of them.

"Well, sponsors are the Capitol citizens that pay to get you weapons.

They give me checks and I put them into your account. Once you're in the arena, I can use your money to buy things for you so the more sponsors you get, the better off you'll be. Annie, you are lucky in that you have nothing to worry about when it comes to sponsors. As you may know, I'm a much loved Victor, and they won't hesitate to make me happy." He smiles again, but I can tell this one is forced.

 _One day later…_

"Get up, Annie!" I hear Garcia yell. I rub my eyes and yawn, then I get out of bed.

"Be there in 10!" I yell back to her. I'm tired and not in the mood for an interview, but I'm not worried. I'm not worried because Finnick will be waiting behind the stage to tell me how well I did.

I brush my hair and teeth even though I know my stylists will be here soon to make me beautiful again.

I head out and almost bump into Garcia, who had been about to knock on my door again.

"Oh, sorry, Annie. Move along, now. The stylists will be here in half an hour!" I walk to the dining room and fill with relief to see Mags sitting down.

"Good morning!" She says, giving me her regular smile which warms my heart. I smile back at her and sit down for breakfast.

"Are you nervous?" She asks.

"No, not really. Finnick told me I'd do great."

"I'm sure you will." She says, but her eyes darken. "Just remember I'll always be there if you need me." Before I can ask her what she means, my stylists break into the room.

"Annie! Good morning! Are you excited?" I nod half-heartedly, but I am excited to be pretty again. Now that I think about it, I had never given any attention to my looks, but just two times in my life would be nice. I gobble down breakfast, trying to hurry up. Finally, I'm finished and they take me to the room I'd been in before the parade.

They shave my legs again even though they don't need shaving. They paint my nails with green paint. I suppose they seemed to like me in green. Not that I can complain. It's my favorite color.

When they're done, they bathe me again. The warm water doesn't burn me at all this time. It just feels calming. Florio fills the tub with wonderful soaps and gels, making the water blue with purple bubbles and having it smell of flowers.

They rub the oils on my skin to make it smooth. They put so much shampoo in my hair that I don't think any amount of salt could ruin it. That I don't like. I love the feeling of salt in my hair.

I dry in that glass room and head out. The first thing I notice in the room is a billowing green dress that would reach my knees. Its skirt is unlike any I've seen before, flowing like the waves. The dress itself is decorated with shells and pearls. Rosalie does my makeup. The amount that she puts on is not as much as last time, softer greens that stay in my eyelids. My lips lack much color, but they look shiny and natural, better than red. I put the dress on, even though I'm not allowed to look in the mirror. I look down, though, and see my sea instead of a dress. Tigris gets on with my hair, this time not taking it up, but curling it down. She puts pearls and shells in it and I can only imagine how beautiful that must look.

Finally, they put me in front of a mirror. I gasp, because I am looking at Cora. Our hair looks the exact same, with her beautiful curls and darker red that I now possess, and my face was freckle-free, instead with her rosy cheeks. The only difference is that my eyes are still a soft sea-green.

I spend the entire ride to the place where the interviews are to be held trying hard not to cry. I miss Cora. I miss how she would hold me when I had a nightmare, I miss how she would help me get shells, I miss how she would take me everywhere with her, I miss how she'd say I was the sweetest girl in 4, I miss how she had taught me every single knot I know because she knew every knot in the ocean and how to tie it behind her back, I even miss how she would call me weak and urge me to be stronger, and I miss how she'd call me Shell because I would get them and make jewels that she would always wear.

I also miss Arnav. I miss how he would cry at the thought of anybody ever getting hurt, I miss how he would tell me he would become a lifeguard to help save the fish and whales that got stuck in the sand, I miss how he's almost kicked the great Finnick Odair so he would teach me to win, and I miss how he'd come up to me on any random day and tell me he loved me.


	6. Bright Lights

An hour later we finally arrive at the theater. Tyson and I get out of the limousine and enter the big building. I gasp because the inside is pure white and very beautiful. There are chandeliers with burning candles and jewels that decorated the walls the same way shells decorated my house in District 4.

It might be architecturally stunning, but, like everything else in the Capitol, I hate it.

We are taken backstage. It isn't nearly as beautiful there. I see all the other district tributes in the waiting room. I see Mags and Tyson and Garcia, but Finnick is nowhere to be seen. I start to get nervous, Finnick promised me he'd show.

"Where is Finnick?" I ask Mags. She smiles, though it's sad, and says:

"Finnick will be here in time for your interview." With that, she gives me a motherly hug that makes me feel better.

"Welcome, tributes, to your interviews. Emerald from District 1, you have one minute to prepare." I hear a voice from a speaker say.

Against Mags's wishes, I watch her interview from the huge screen in the room.

Emerald looks fabulous with her pure green eyes, not anything like mine, and her gold hair that tumbles down in curls. She is wearing a long green dress that shows one leg and sticks to her body, showing all her curves that I'll never have.

"Hello, Caesar!" She says, as if they were old friends.

"Hello, dear." Then he turns to the crowd and says: I'm Caesar Flickerman and this is Emerald, the fabulous tribute from District 1!" Loud cheers come up from the crowd, coming from not only the speakers in the room but through the walls.

"So, Emerald, you volunteered, correct?"

"Yes, Caesar, I wanted to take part in this honorable event. I don't understand why so few people would." She answers, only getting more applause. I look to where Mags should be but she is gone and I remember she had to go to the audience to watch. That's where Finnick is. I remember his face as he took both of my hands and promised me he'd be here to watch. I decide to return to seeing the interview.

"So, what are you good at?" Caesar asks.

"Oh, a whole lot of things; I'm very talented with knives, I can make anything with fabric or a few jewels, and I have my few _private_ talents." I don't understand what she means, but the crowd goes crazy. She leans forward, showing almost all of her body. She's been using a very sensual tone so far, I notice. I realize that it is the strategy that Finnick used in his games and I knew I could never pull it off. I shudder at the thought of having to show that much of yourself off to others.

"Well, I'd watch out for you if I was in the arena!" Caesar jokes. She laughs and the crowd cheers some more. "Final question, do you have a message for the folks at home?"

She smiles and looks straight at the camera. "Hey everyone, just sleep tight knowing that I feel great here in the Capitol and that I'm coming home a victor or not coming home at all." She meant to say it bravely, and she did, but it just means that she might not be coming home after all. Caesar says:

"Well, our time is up. Everyone, the gorgeous Emerald!" They stand up, holding hands and putting their hands up. The crowd cheers once more and she leaves. The boy from her district comes out.

"Hello everybody!" He yells, making the people cheer for him.

"Hello, Gloss." Caesar says. Gloss has black hair and brown eyes. He is huge, the biggest boy I'd seen in my life. He's wearing a leather brown suit that resembles armor and makes his square jaw look even tougher. "I understand that you are named after the great Gloss, victor from your district." A ton of cheers erupt at the mention of the former victor and the camera switches to show him in the crowd, arm in arm with his sister, Cashmere. He waves to the crowd and points at his tribute proudly.

"I am, and I'm going to bring glory to our name, and to the name of our district!" He yells, shooting his fists up. More applause.

"So, what are your special skills?" Caesar asks.

"Well, I can handle any weapon, especially a sword, like nobody's business."

"Before time runs out is there anything you'd like to say to your folks?"

"See you in a week!" He says. Caesar and he stand up, brandishing their joined hands in the air.

"Everyone, the brutal Gloss!"

The District two tributes go next: a scary-looking girl and tough-looking boy. The girl, Kristen, has a pointed yet pretty face, beady black eyes, and long black hair. The boy, Tobias, has dark brown hair and blue eyes like the night. All they talk about is bringing glory to their district. I find out that Kristen fights with a sword and Tobias is a knife-thrower and can fight just as well with a spear.

Next come the District 3 tributes. That girl looks quite smart and I know I'm going to have to watch out for her. She has light blonde hair, almost white, and startling blue eyes. The boy, Stewart, is the typical tribute from 3: a scared-looking young boy with a calculated face and scrawny frame.

"Annie Cresta, District 4, please advance to the stage." I look at the screen, at the audience.

I see all of the posters, all of the signs with his face on it.

I see the special row of seats saved for the mentors.

I see Mags.

But not Finnick.

My heart sinks and my hands start to shake. Suddenly, I'm extremely nervous.

"Annie Cresta, please go to the stage." I feel a slight push and turn to see Tyson giving me a little smile. I'm stepping forward, about to go into the stage, in the view of the audience, about to cry because Finnick promised he'd be here for me and I know I'm not going home, but the least he could do is help. Suddenly, I hear a loud sound of a door and turn around to see Finnick running into the room, trying desperately to find me. Finally, his eyes see me and I run towards him, embracing him in a tight hug.

"Finnick!"

"It's ok, Annie, you're going to do great, now go out there and melt those people's hearts." He says. He smiles and I feel brave again, all sense of nervousness gone, replaced by a slight hope. I walk out, smiling and waving to the crowd, who are cheering, not nearly as loudly for me as they did for the others.

The first thing I notice is the bright lights, bearing into my eyes, making it almost impossible to see. I sit down at the comfortable chair and look into the audience. Sure enough, I see a waving Finnick, making his way to his seat. He's having trouble, I notice, because of all the women sitting nearby who are tearing at his clothes, trying to touch any part of him they could reach. Finnick smiles, but it's fake. It's so fake I want to puke.

I turn back to Caesar and see he's just asked me a question.

"I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't hear that." Caesar laughs, but I'm not looking at him, I'm trying to look at Finnick like he told me to.

"I asked if you had any special talents." He repeats. It's hard to think with all the lights. I wreck my brain, trying to think of any talent that could be useful in the arena. I find that I'm almost useless.

"I'm a strong swimmer, and I- I can tie knots." The crowd laughs at me and I feel my cheeks grow red. Caesar fixes my embarrassment by saying:

"Well, tying knots could be very useful in the arena, don't you think? I mean, I know of a victor who won using knots. Can you remember him, folks?" The crowd goes wild.

"Finnick Odair!" I hear many people yell and scream. Caesar laughs and says:

"Yes, the great Finnick Odair, winner of the 65th Hunger Games!" The crowd cheers louder than with Gloss or Emerald or Kristen, making my ears hurt. "So, Annie, tell me how is it, having Finnick Odair as your mentor?" He winks and I frown, knowing what he wants me to say: that Finnick Odair is the most charming, handsome mentor a girl could wish for.

Instead I answer:

"Well, Finnick is great. I mean, he's kind and funny and he helps me when I cry. He's so nice to me, even when I don't deserve it. It is a gift, having had the opportunity to meet him because he can make me laugh as I cry and shed tears of joy. He's honestly the best mentor anyone could ever wish for."

Caesar looks genially surprised. Just what I was hoping for. This time there's no cheers, just quiet, and I look at Finnick's face and see a blank expression even though the camera is on him right now. Then he looks down, smiling a thin smile and looks back up, flashing everyone a most charming smile only he could have pulled off. Cheers erupt again from the women in the crowd. I glance towards Mags and see that she's smiling proudly.

"Well, that's all, folks! Everybody, the sweet Annie Cresta from District 4!" We stand up and our hands rise. Then I head backstage to where the remaining tributes are. Tyson gives me a pat in the back. He's so strong I almost trip. Another tribute girl, the one from 11, smiles at me, but it isn't a menacing smile. It's kind. She is very pretty, with brown waves and bright brown eyes. She isn't too skinny, she looks quite strong, in fact. I think about allies and consider her an option.

I sit down on one of the chairs offered to tributes and try to watch Tyson's talk.

"Hello, Tyson." Caesar says.

Tyson nods his head and says: "Hello, Caesar."

"So, Tyson, let's get to the point. How are you planning to win?" Tyson smiles and it chills my blood to see how different this smile from the usual.

"Simple: I'm going to crush anyone who comes in my way!" He roars and the crowd goes wild again.

It's obvious that he's going for the strong image. I watch the rest of the interview horrified because of his attitude. I know that isn't the boy that asked me if I was alright, or helped me stand up when I was pushed over. This isn't him. This is somebody else completely.

When he's done he comes back into the room and the doors on the other side open. It's Mags.

"Come, on, time to go back to the living quarters. Unless you'd rather stay and watch, we can watch from there." She says, walking towards us, smiling. We both start to walk towards her at the same time, wanting to get out. I hadn't enjoyed my interview, exactly, and I just wanted to get away from all these nasty faces looking at me with hate.

It wasn't until we had gotten in the car that I start to wonder about Finnick's whereabouts. I'm too tired from the nervous adrenaline from the interview to think much, though.

Garcia, who hadn't said much since we arrived, is now babbling on about how well Tyson did. I feel bad, knowing I messed everything up with my awful answers and description of Finnick. Although I meant every word. We enter the hotel again, but I don't go to the living room like everyone else. I go to my room, not wishing to see any more of the interviews. I open the door and something crashes into me. I feel a strong hand holding my head from behind and another hand on my back. I feel a head on my shoulder, leaning on me. I hear crying and every part of the person holding on to me is shaking, their body being wrecked by the sobs that are wetting my dress.

"Annie…" Finnick whispers. I put my hands on his back, bringing him closer. I don't know for how long we stay there, me holding him, in my doorway. By the time I let go, the top of my green dress is soaked with his tears. I hear a door shut and turn to see Mags hurrying towards us.


	7. Miracle of Nature

**Please note that this chapter is in Finnick's point of view**

"Well, Finnick is great. I mean, he's kind and funny and he helps me when I cry. He's so nice to me, even when I don't deserve it. It is a gift, having had the opportunity to meet him because he can make me laugh as I cry and shed tears of joy. He's honestly the best mentor anyone could ever wish for." She says.

I'm shocked. I don't know how to respond. But I look at her in the eye and know she means it, like she means everything else she says.

When I first looked at her, my first though was:

 _She's a goner._

I think back to her little brother, looking up at me defensively, telling me he'd kick me if I didn't teach her how to fight.

Her sister came to see me. She was heading out of the room Annie was in. I remember thinking that she looked so tough. She stopped when she saw me and glared at me.

"You get her out of that arena. You do that, or I will personally cut your throat." I knew she meant it.

I remember the first conversation I'd ever had with Annie. She was so scared. She was different. When I tried to ease her fear by flirting, which always works on every single girl I've ever tried it upon, she blushed, but it was the type of blush that happens when someone does something unexpected that you consider too far. I appreciated that more than I care to admit. She was so pure, so gentle, and so innocent.

I remember holding her while she cried. She told me about her family with such longing I wanted to cry.

In the days that followed I saw how kind, gentle, pure, sweet, innocent, carefree, nice, and wonderful she is.

I look down and smile, which is what I do when I'm sad. It helps me hide the hurt. If I look to the ground and compose myself, no one will see the hurt in my eyes. Finally, when I'm ready, I look up and give the stupid citizens what they want. I smile and wave and blow some kisses.

Annie's time is up but I can't stay. I ran out of my client's apartment to see her give her interview because she needed me. But I know I can't stay any longer. I get a taxi and drive to the tribute living quarters. There, instead of going to my room, my feet take me to Annie's.

There, I cry, whishing Mags was here to comfort me.

At first I cry because I remember her hands on my body. I get into the shower and try to scrub the memory of her dirty fingers on me. Then I cry because of Annie. I cry because she is so fragile. I cry because she didn't want me, she didn't want my body, like all the other girls do. She wanted to be friends. She didn't make any comment on how beautiful I am or how sexy. She told all of Panem that I was kind and nice. If only she knew how dirty I am. I cry when I get out of her shower because I know that she is the best girl in existence. And she was brought into my world. My awful, dirty world.

She is too kind, too gentle, too pure, too sweet, too innocent, too carefree, too nice, and too wonderful. The arena is going to kill her.

I hate everyone involved: the Gamemakers, the citizens, the other tributes, the other mentors, the President, and I hate myself, for breaking such a miracle of nature.

I hear light footsteps and then the door opens. I see her with a surprised look on her face. I run and hold her close, knowing that I can't protect her from the Capitol's sick games. I hold her, but my crying overtakes me and I find myself crying into her shoulder, sobs echoing through my body.

She slides her thin arms up my back, only making me cry harder because she is so good.

A while later I hear another set of footsteps. I know instantly who it is: Mags.

We break away and Mags comes into the open hallway, closing the door that leads to the dormitory hall. She rushes towards us and hugs me like she'd done a hundred times before. She nods to Annie, who goes back into her room and closes the door.

"Do you want to be alone?" Mags asks.

"Yes, Mags."


	8. Allies

I wake up and realize I'd fallen asleep upon entering my room last night.

My beautiful dress is gone and instead I am, wearing my pajamas. I knew instantly who's done this: _Mags_. Only someone so motherly and kind could have done such a favor.

 _One day later…_

"Annie! Get up now! We're going to be late!"

I wake with a start, rubbing my head. It hurt quite a bit. I got up and rushed to the dining room. There sit Finnick, Mags, Tyson, Garcia, Louis, and Tyson's stylist, Clara. Most of them look at me with disapproving glances. Mags looks at Finnick then at me and smiles and I get a feeling that she knows something I don't. Finnick can barely hold his laughter.

"About time, Annie!" Garcia exclaims, making me blush and look down, a cold feeling of shame taking over me.

"I-I had a nightmare." I say apologetically. "I'm sorry." Garcia looks like she wants to say more but Finnick shoots her a glare and she quiets down.

"Good morning, Annie." Tyson says, smiling. He makes me feel better that way and I know that's what he wants.

"Good morning." I answer as I sit down beside him.

"So, as I was saying, the first day of training is today. We have already decided that, because of the difference in skill, you two will train separately when private training begins." Garcia says, shooting a pointed glance at me. I sink a little bit in my chair and I want to hide within myself because she is reminding me of the impossible task it is to win the Games. As always, Finnick saves me.

"Exactly, Annie has more brains than Tyson and Tyson has more brawn. We need to teach them how to work their separate talents." Garcia looks annoyed but continues:

"Anyway, today is the first day where you will be training with the others. In an hour, you will start to get ready, so eat up and go talk with your mentors." I'm not hungry, but Father had always taught me that I had to eat, even if I wasn't hungry, because people in 12 were starving and here I was, refusing food denied to them.

I gobble it up and try to keep it to stay down. Finnick gets up and beckons me to him. We walk to another room in silence. He closes the door and sits on one of the couches present in the room with a very serious expression on his face. He opens a cabinet to his right and pulls out a box quietly. I have a feeling something important is in the box. He takes out one of the little white things in the box and props it in his mouth.

"Do you want a sugarcube?" He says really serious-like. We both crack up and I take a little sugarcube from his outstretched hand. I'd never tasted a raw sugarcube before. It melts in my tongue and I taste its sweet flavor. Now I understand why Finnick is addicted to them. "Ok, now let's get serious. Annie, do you want allies? Tyson is with the Careers." The truth is I hadn't thought much about allies, but an image of the girl from 11 flashed in my mind. It is sad, though, that Tyson would be with the Careers, he'd make a nice ally.

"Yes. Maybe the girl from 11, she seemed to like me."

"Alright, I think her name is Carolina. I'll ask Mags to tell us what she said in her interview." I nod. "Annie, when you're in the training center, and concentrate on learning about plants and try some knots if you're tired. Don't go to any weapons station. We'll work on that in our private lessons. Be friendly to Carolina and don't even talk to the Careers. If you need help, you can ask the trainer, but try to figure things out on your own. Don't ask Tyson." I nod. "What weapon would you like to learn how to use?" He asks. I don't want to learn how to use a weapon. I don't ever want to touch one. But I remember Cora and how she told me to fight.

"I suppose I should learn how to throw knives." I say with shame at the thought of fighting. Finnick looks extremely sad.

"I suppose so."

The door opens and Garcia comes in.

"Annie, time to get ready! Finnick, Mags told me you have somewhere to go." Finnick looks to her feet with a look of self-loathing. He got up and hugged me goodbye.

"Good luck, Annie." He says and he gets up and leaves. I know he won't be there when I come back from training. He probably won't be there when I wake up, either.

I take a bath again, but I can't concentrate on the perfumes and oils. I can only think of how nervous I am about the oncoming event. Louis does my makeup alone because I don't really need much. It's all over to soon.

I find myself in the familiar limousine that will take me to the tribute center. Tyson is sitting beside me and he actually looks a lot more nervous than I do. I can imagine why: joining with the Careers must be hard.

Finally, we arrive at the training center. I do my best not to run and hide at the sight of so many wicked blades and bows and javelins. I look at the realistic forest clearing on one side that teaches you how to build a fire and set up a tent. I look at the know-tying section and fall instantly in love with it. There are tons of different types of ropes of different sizes and strengths, and hundreds of knots they can teach me. I probably know all of them, but still.

I spot Carolina sitting at the clearing, trying to make a fire. I know I have to start at some point so I head over there.

"Hello, can I try to make a fire with wood, please? No matches." I say to the supervisor. Truth is I have never made a fire before, not even seen one in person. The supervisor hands me an armful of wood and I go to where Carolina is.

"Hello." She says when she hears me coming.

"Hi." I say timidly. I'm very quiet around strangers. She smiles and I know if I make an effort, we'll surely get along.

"What's your name, again?" She asks, although I think she already knows.

"I'm Annie, District 4. Who are you?"

"Carolina from 11. I'm seventeen, eighteen next week." My smile disappears. She's turning into an adult in the arena. "Oh, don't feel bad for me. I'm glad I was picked. Not that I want to kill anyone, obviously. It's just, I hate my life in 11. The Peacekeepers forced us to harvest everything too fast. They would whip us and everything. I lost my little brother to the Peacekeepers. My family hates me since then. They think it's my fault that the Peacekeepers whipped a child so little too many times. Anyway, it's better me than anyone else with a decent life. My goal in these games is not to come out a winner. It's to help someone decent win." I'm shocked. She's probably the bravest girl my age I've ever met and ever will meet.

"I have the best family in 4, actually. My older sister, Cora, she's seventeen. She's incredibly beautiful, strong, and responsible. She's getting married, too. My mom was a lot like her. She died when I was ten, a little while after giving birth to Arnav. Arnav is my little brother. He's so sweet. Well, you understand just fine what it means to lose your little brother." She looks sad as she nods. "Well, what stuff do you like to do?" I ask, changing to topic.

"I like to pick apples from the orchard with this adorable seven year-old, Rue. I try to read as much as possible but my family doesn't own many books. You?"

"I like to get shells from the sand and swim, or simply spend the day in the water, floating, and I like tying knots." With that she gets a faraway look in her eyes.

"I've always wanted to know what the sea is like." She says. I want to tell her about the feeling of floating, about the many colors of the water, about the fish that tickle your feet, but I don't get the chance because I see fire for the first time in my life. "Look, I did it!" She exclaims and looks up at me, smiling. I smile back at her, tankful that at least one of us is going to be able to make a fire in the arena.

"Carolina, I wanted to ask you something." She smiles and asks:

"Allies?" And I answer:

"Allies."

"Come on, I'll teach you how to tie some knots." We walk over to the empty rope station. "Alright, you take that rope and try to mimic my movements. I start with a simple figure-eight knot. She isn't very good and half an hour later she gives up. We decide to move on to the edible plants section.

I'm good at memorizing the plants, but Carolina is better. She already knows tons of them from her agricultural studies in her school.

"I'm taking a break." I say. I head over to the knots station and start tying. My fingers move fast and I don't need to concentrate on the knot I'm trying. This gives me time to think. I look around and see Emerald throwing knives at wicked speeds, all of which hit their targets. I see Tobias, throwing knives beside her. His face shows concentration, although from the way he throws, I suspect he doesn't need to concentrate. I spot Tyson, laughing with Kristen and Gloss like they were old friends. It hurts me, but I'm glad he's mixing well with them.

I hear the bell that tells us we can go back to the hotel.

I'm not physically exhausted, but mentally, I can't even think straight. All the names of the plants are swimming in my head. I don't even process anything in the ride back.

Finally, we arrive and I lay in my bed. I float off to sleep immediately.

 _Four days later…_

"Annie. Annie, time to get up." I hear a soft voice say. I open my eyes and they meet Finnick's endless ocean orbs.

"Five more minutes." I say sleepily.

"Can't, Annie. We got training to do." _Oh, right_. I forgot. I have private training with Finnick today. I get up, trying not to fall. We walk to the dining pavilion. There, I get served my favorite drink: coffee. I let Finnick put in my six sugarcubes that I have some to love and I sip my drink peacefully.

"So, am I going to teach you how to throw knives today?" I nod sadly.

The ride to the Training Center is quiet. Neither of us has anything to say.

When we get there, we are given a privet room almost identical to the main training room, only smaller. We decide not to waste time and head over to the throwing range.

Finnick takes one of the knives from the array of weapons on the wall and thrusts it towards the target. I hits the middle.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" I ask.

"Mags taught me. You forget, Annie. My first weapon in the arena was not a trident. That came in a parachute. I threw knives." An image flashes in my mind of a very young Finnick throwing a knife into another tribute's back.


	9. The Real Finnick Odair

I miss the target a lot. I throw until my arm aches and more, but I can barely get close.

It's the last day of personal training. Tomorrow we get a free day to do whatever we want and then…

It's off to the arena.

"Come on, Annie. You know you can do it!" Finnick says, encouraging me. I know I can't do it, though. I throw the last knife, thinking about Cora and Arnav and Finnick and how they all want me to fight. I throw it with all my might.

It hits the target.

Finnick lifts me into the air with his muscular arms, twirling me.

"You did it!" I smile and decide to examine the position of the knife. It hit right in the center of the bulls-eye.

I turn to see Mags standing at the door, smiling mischievously.

"Well done, Annie!" She congratulates me when she sees I've noticed her.

I walk over to her and we hug. I feel triumphant and I wish Cora was here to see this.

The rest of the afternoon, I spend throwing more knives. They all hit, not all of them in the bulls-eye, but in the target, nonetheless. I suppose I can kill people now. The thought makes me want to cry and I almost do, but I remember Finnick's proud face and Cora's demanding expression.

I go back to the living quarters feeling mediocre. My arms hurts a lot from the constant throwing but I don't have any muscles. I crash on the bed like I've done for the past two weeks and weep.

I have that dream again. The one with Arnav and Cora and Mags and Finnick and Tyson. I wake up screaming. The door opens almost immediately and Finnick rushes in.

"Annie! Are you ok?" I shake my head rapidly. I'm not ok. I'm scared. He walk toward me slowly and gets in my bed. I don't turn him away. I don't say no.

"Is this alright?" He asks, meaning being in bed with me. I nod, thankful instead of afraid. I close my eyes and let his warmth envelop me.

No one wakes us up. No one disturbs us. We lie there peacefully, sleeping, until it's time for lunch. I wake up and look at Finnick, who's already awake. He smiles and gets out from underneath the covers. He looks good like this. No makeup, hair messy in a natural way, and no fancy clothes. He looks a lot more realistic this way. Not like the Capitol god, but like a regular human being. An exceptionally handsome human being, but still.

"Good morning, slept well?" He asks.

"I did, actually."

"Well then let's go have breakfast."

"I think its lunchtime." I say.

"Well, I am not going to eat any type of lunch if I don't get my fair share of sugarcubes and coffee." We laugh start toward the lunchroom. There, we don't expect to find Garcia, Tyson, and Mags sitting together eating lunch. Mags looks like she can barely hold her laughter at seeing us walking together. Garcia gasps then giggles then gasps again and Tyson's food falls out of his mouth. Then I understand what they had been thinking.

"It's not what you think!" I try, but Mags is already laughing, whether it is because she doesn't believe us or because she does and thinks we're miserable.

"Well this is sure going on the tabloids!" Garcia tells us. My cheeks glow bright red.

"We weren't sleeping together! Well, we were but I had a nightmare, and- well- you know!" I say, trying to get the image out of their minds.

"Don't worry, Garcia, my heart is still with _you-know-who_." Finnick winks. "It's just that little Annie, here, had a nightmare and needed me to stay." He says seductively and it's so believable I almost believe him. Garcia looks like she buys it and so does Tyson, but Mags looks like she's keeping from bursting out laughing for our sake. We eat lunch quietly. Well, I eat lunch. Finnick is filling himself with sugarcubes. When I'm finished, Mags whispers something to Finnick.

"Annie, come, I want to show you something." He says with a childish smile.

I follow him out of the hotel. He gets in the District 4 limo and tells the driver to take us to the training center. _Why would we need to go to the training center?_ I wonder. Once we're there Finnick takes me through tons of hallways, past the big training room and the private training rooms. Finally we arrive at our destination. I gasp in happy surprise.

 _A gigantic pool._

I turn to him and smile in wonder and see that he's wearing that childish smile he was wearing before. He hands me something small and stretchy that I recognize as a bathing suit. I quickly go to what looks like a changing room and change into the bathing suit, which fits perfectly on me. I go back out and see that Finnick's already changed.

I run and dive into the water, which I've been wanting to do since we arrived at the Capitol. Finnick dives in after me and we just swim. I float sometimes like I used to do in 4 except there are no waves here to rock me. The pool is not the District 4 Ocean, but it is better than I could have hoped for.

Finnick and I play in the water and splash each other constantly. Sometimes we just go underwater, enjoying the feeling of being isolated from the world.

Finally, we get tired and hungry. We get out of the water looking wrinkled but we don't mind. We get dry and change back into out outfits.

"Don't you tell anyone about this, Annie, we're not aloud." He says, we giggle because he says it like we did something that might end humanity. We go back to the living quarters and he disappears, telling me to wait a minute.

A few minutes later he reappears, carrying tons of delicious food and drinks along with a blanket.

"Follow me." He says, with a certain mystery to his voice. I do as he says and follow him. He takes me through stairs and elevators, past all the other district levels. Finally, we arrive at a garden. It's not very big, but it's more than enough for a picnic. The grass is real, green and luscious. I'd never seen grass before. I realize I'm discovering a lot of things lately. I don't know how to take that.

"We're going to have a picnic today. Not like the ones in 4, where they take place in the sand, but how the other districts have their picnics. In the grass." He smiles and puts the blanket down, laying the food on top of it and then sitting down. I sit down beside him and we stuff ourselves with the delicious food of the Capitol. He tells me jokes and we watch the sunset. And when we have finished with the food we lie down and watch the stars.

I figure if I'm going to die tomorrow I should ask the question that's been nagging at the back of my brain since we arrived at the Capitol. One that's been making me wonder about the real Finnick Odair.

"Finnick? What are your clients?" It's almost inaudible, but he lets out a small gasp. I want to bite back my question. "I'm- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, Annie, you deserve to know. But I'll start at the beginning. I'm a monster, Annie."

Now it is my turn to gasp.

"Finnick Odair you are not a monster! Don't ever say that about yourself!" I tell him because it's true. Finnick is the best man I've ever known. And he's only nineteen.

"Yes I am, Annie. Don't protest until you've heard the whole story, please. All I'd ever wanted, from the second I was born, was a family. My father was dead and my mother had to raise me alone. As you know, I won my Games at fourteen. I used the trident Mags sent me. I trapped my victims and then speared them. I killed people, Annie. I wake up from nightmares and find that there's no relief in waking up. But I was young, I was handsome, more bets were placed on me than any other tribute in history. But I was too handsome for my own good. I used my charm thinking there would be no consequence, but I was wrong. The President went to see me. He told me that many people in the Capitol were going to pay enormous amounts of money if they got to spend a night with me after I turned sixteen. I declined. I didn't want any hands on me or my body. I went on my Victory Tour, and when I got back, my mom was dead. I only cared about one person in the world other than my mother, and that's Mags. Do you know how easy it is to stage a death for such an old woman? That's what the President asked me. I said I would do it. When I turned sixteen I would become the Capitol sex god, their toy, their prostitute. Whenever I went to the Capitol, and that would be every year, according to Snow, I would get clients, men and women of all ages. They hit me, they bite me, they make me do unspeakable things, and I let them. I'm dirty, Annie. Dirty all over. I'm a slut. Only you know and you're not supposed to know, so don't tell anyone. Please don't hate me."

"You are not a monster." I tell him. I can't believe Snow would do things like that. Or anybody. Why would someone put someone else through this pain? I hate them. I hate them all.

We go down after a while and I try to sleep.

But I can't.

I keep thinking about what I know now, about the real Finnick Odair.


	10. Annie's Mistake

**Please note that this chapter is in Finnick's point of view**

 _I sit in front of the computer screen, where I'm supposed to watch the Games. Mags is sitting beside me, but she looks blurry. Instead of trying to talk to her I concentrate on the Capitol seal appearing on the screen. I hear the horrible anthem and then I see Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith. They talk for I while but I don't listen because I'm too concentrated of the oncoming event._

 _Finally, I get my first glimpse of her. She looks worried, on her metal plate. But she's probable as worried as I am. The countdown begins and all I think about is that the only girl who understands me, the only one who just wants to be friends, can die in ten seconds._

 _"_ _Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven..." I know she's too weak, she won't make it. "Three! Two! One! Go!" I hear the boom of the cannon and see everyone charge at the Cornucopia. Everyone but Annie._

 _She's still on her plate. Not moving, just staring ahead. I yell at her to run, uncaring of the other mentors in the room._

 _I know she can't hear me._

 _I know it's to late._

 _The camera fixes on her because she's the only one that looks paralyzed. Then something silver emerges from her heart and she crumples to the ground. Tyson is looming over her when I hear the boom of the cannon._

 _She's dead, I tell myself. She's dead…_

And I wake up screaming.


	11. The Games

"Annie! Annie, wake up! Today is your big day!" Garcia reminds me as I struggle to get up.

It's today.

I sit up straight as soon as I process her words. Today would be my last day of life as I know it, and possibly my last day of life at all.

I walk to the door slowly, trying to live every moment. I see the door open and Finnick comes in. He takes me in his arms and just holds me.

Just holds me.

He smells of woman, and I hold him closer because of it. I don't know why holds me, though, I'm a little chickadee who will never win the Games and he's Finnick Odair.

Mags comes in next and hugs me then takes my arm and leads me to the dining room.

I'm not hungry. I'm empty. I had gone to sleep crying, not for my fate, but for Finnick. So I'm all cried out now. I don't want to eat, I'm not hungry, but I do it, anyways because Dad always told me not to leave food on my plate. I realize I had made a mistake in eating when I start to puke everything out. Still, I can't go into the Games on an empty stomach. I need to survive them. If I don't, I'll never see my family again.

When I'm done with what little I could consume, Garcia walks me and Tyson, who has actually gone very pale, to a huge room with a hovercraft. Finnick and Mags had been following us, but now they have stopped at the door, not coming in. I realize why. Tyson and I are going to the Games now. I'm never going to see Mags again, kindly, motherly, gentle, caring, woman she is. And I'll never see Finnick.

"Say goodbye to your mentors and get in the hovercraft." Garcia says in an excited voice.

I run to Finnick and put my arms around his neck and my head on his shoulder. He puts his in mine and wraps his arms around my back, holding me tightly. He's my best friend. I could never ask for anyone better.

I hug old Mags and look at Finnick one last time.

I walk to the hovercraft, not looking back. My last vision of Finnick Odair being his sad green eyes, moving like the waves in the ocean.

Tyson and I are quiet on the ride to the arena. He's pale and his hands are shaking, but when I look at his face he smiles at me. I probably look horrible, with messy hair and bags under my eyes and my skin so pale my freckles probably look black in comparison.

Garcia has the decency to stay quiet meanwhile. I never thought she was capable of that.

We finally arrived at the arena. We get off the hovercraft into another room. There were no windows, so I haven't had the chance to see what it looks like, but I'm sure I will know soon enough. We walk through corridors and we reach one big hallway with twelve doors to each side, all labeled from 1 to 12. Garcia directs Tyson into the door on the left that is marked with a 4. I take it that I should go into the door in front of his, which is ajar. I go in and find Louis. I run and hug him, thankful for something familiar. The room is small, with an outfit hung on one wall and a small makeup set. There's a tube, big enough for me to fit into it, which would probably take me to the arena.

"Come on, let's get you ready." He says. I let him dress me and brush my hair. The outfit I'll be wearing for the Arena includes comfortable green and brown pants and a light jacket of the same colors.

"What will the Arena be like?" I ask Louis.

"From the looks of your outfit, most probably a forest. The colors you are wearing would be perfect for camouflage, but if you don't do something about your hair it will give you away. Your jacket will not serve you against cold or water, but it will be too much if the temperature is too high. With these clothes, it will be easy to run and climb trees, but it won't serve for almost anything other than that so I recommend you steer clear of swimming and mountains."

"Wow, I never thought you could get that much information from a few garments." He smiles, but the he turns sad.

"Well, it's time to go, Annie. It was a pleasure dressing you. Good luck." He says. I step into the tube, terribly afraid about what's to come. The tube rises and my last glimpse of life as I know it is of Louis waving goodbye.

Then I'm in the arena.

I take a look around. I see the gold Cornucopia in the middle, full of weapons and backpacks and supplies. I see that Louis was right, there is a forest on three sides and a huge dam behind the Cornucopia. The forest has tall trees and brown soil, different from the green of the leaves and grass that surrounds the horn.

I look to one side of me and see the tribute boy from 7, who is smiling wickedly at the forest, his home. I look to my other side and am surprised at finding Carolina. I suppose we won's have any trouble finding each other in the forest. She is carefully studying the area and when she finally finds me she smiles and nods. I nod in return then gesture toward the forest on my left. She looks at where I'm nodding to and confirms that it's a good place to go. The countdown, which I hadn't noticed before, is now indicating that I have ten seconds. It's obvious I wouldn't go to the Cornucopia, Finnick told me not to, anyway. The dam has no places where I can hide from anyone, and the boy from 7 looks like he's going to the forest on my right, and he's a forest expert so I had decided it would be safest to stay away from him. I remember Tyson and look around, but I can't spot him. However, I can see Emerald and the girl from 3.

"Three! Two! One! Go!" I run as fast as I can toward the forest, following Carolina, who has grabbed some sort of stick from the outskirts of the Cornucopia. We run and run, but I don't get tired even though I'm running on pure adrenaline. I look behind us to make sure we're not being followed. No one's there.

Suddenly, we hear a noise to our right and freeze. We're both weaponless, or so I though.

A tribute, the girl from 5, comes out, very scared-looking. However scared she night look, though, she has a rock in her hands and she's about to throw it, straight at my face, which could definitely kill me. I can't move, just like in my nightmare.

She's about to through when suddenly she freezes and falls down and I have to put my hand in my mouth to prevent screaming. I look to Carolina, who has her stick in her mouth, holing it with one hand. I realize that it's a dart gun.

"Calm down, she's not dead. Did you hear a cannon? I don't think so. So come on, we need to keep moving." And we start running again.

I don't know how much time passes, but I know tiredness is catching up on me. Finally, we fall to the ground, exhausted.

"Can we rest?" Carolina asks.

"Let's find a place first." I answer, knowing we can't lie here in the open.

We walk a little further and find a mudbank.

"Perfect." I say, knowing what to do. I take some mud and put it on my hair and clothes, camouflaging myself like I had been taught in the training center. Carolina follows, putting it all over herself. She accidentally splashes me and I throw some mud at her.

"Hey!" She says, startled, as she throws some on me, too.

We have a small playful fight, careful not to make much noise, and when we're finally too tired to continue, we rest behind a bush. Dawn is coming quickly, so we need to figure out guarding arrangements.

"I'll guard first." I say, even though I'm thirsty, tired, and hungry. Then I hear constant beeping sounds and I jump, remembering that I'm defenseless. Something lands on my head and I almost fall. I feel for it and find a silver parachute.

I open it and see what it contains. It has cooked chicken and a canteen of water. A meal for two.

I look up at the fake sky, hoping Finnick can see how thankful I am in my smile.

"Carolina! Wake up!" I half-whisper. She rubs her eyes and opens her mouth to complain, but she stops as soon as she smells our meal. Her eyes open wide and her mouth actually waters. "Dinner time!" I say excitedly.

I try to separate a little chicken for both of us with the fork it includes. We dip it in the sauce that comes with it and eat it all, drinking some of the water. I save the rest of the chicken, putting it in the parachute, for later. I hung the parachute at my belt and lie down at Carolina's request. She says she's too awake anyway, but the feeling of a full stomach, mixed with the fatigue in my legs, is too much for me.

I wake up after dawn to find Carolina, wide awake, by my side. I get angry at her for not having woken me so she could sleep but then I remember what she told me in the training center. _My goal in these games is not to come out a winner. It's to help someone decent win._

"We should move." I say, remembering Finnick and how he told me not to stay in one place for too long. Just then, I hear more beeping and look up to find a parachute. I smile again.

"Thanks Finnick." I whisper, hoping in some remote part of the world, away from the arena, he can hear me, somehow.

"Wow, your mentor is really prone to giving you food." Carolina says. I nod, knowing that I have the best mentors in the history of these Games. I open up the parachute to find another canteen, this one a thermostat. Next to it there's a little box that I recognize. I open it and find dozens of little sugarcubes and laugh at Finnick's smarts.

"What are those?" Carolina asks.

"Sugarcubes. And coffee."

"What is coffee?"

"Coffee is the magical beverage made from coffee beans." I say, still smiling, remembering Finnick's conversation about coffee that we had, oh, so long ago. We drink it, savoring what could easily be our last meal. That's when I hear it again. _Another parachute_. Finnick must be working hard to send me so many gifts.

I gasp at this one's contents and so does Carolina. It's a knife. It's long and sharp and I can see my reflection on it. It fits in my hand and, while I'm thankful for a weapon, I'm disgusted. But this is life now.

"Let's move." Carolina says, eyeing my expression. We start walking, fully awake because of the delicious coffee.

We walk for several hours until I see something moving. I pull Carolina down and we hid behind a bush, but we come out moments later because there is no one out there. Just a deer.

It's not the deer that makes up run towards it, it's the river it's drinking from. Carolina is about to take a drink too when I stop her.

"Wait. Let's watch the deer's reactions to the water, maybe it's poisonous." I whisper. We sit there, concealed behind a tree, for hours while the deer sleeps. When we're sure the water is clean, we move on to drinking.

We each drink for a few minutes until I clumsily fall into the water. At first I panic, then I realize the water has little current and it's only knee-deep. I take one of Carolinas arms while she' hunched over the water and pull her in. She splashes me after surfacing again and we laugh, playing around, until we get out, our teeth chattering.

 _Five days later…_

It's been almost a week since we've been in the arena and so far, we haven't found anyone. We haven't gone hungry either. Finnick sends us food and Carolina's mentor has sent her a poison dip for her darts and a new set. So far, though, Chaff doesn't seem to have much interest in her. There are nine tributes left: all of the Careers, Tyson, the boy from 7, the girl from 3, the boy from 6, Carolina, and I. we walk every day, the arena must be huge if we're able to walk so much.

I hear a buzzing sound, growing stronger. I don't know where it's coming from, but Carolina takes my arm and we run back and I realize what that sound is. Tracker Jackers.

I force my legs to run faster and if I look back I can see them coming on us. None of them sting us, thankfully, as we run through the forest. My lungs burn and I can't breathe and I know I'm going to crumple to the ground and die.

Suddenly the buzzing stops. I look back and see nothing where the wasps used to be. We both fall in exhaustion and lie there, concealed by bushes, sleeping.

Until I am woken by the crack of a branch. I wake suddenly and shake Carolina, a hand on her mouth. She is wide awake now and I point to behind our bushes. I can just make out the face of the boy from 7, I think his name was Jonathan. He's carrying an axe. His face scan the scenery and narrow when they find our bush. Carolina and I look at each other and make a silent decision. We jump out, startling him, but not for long. He aims the axe at my chest and throws and I see it flying towards me. I think a silent good-bye to Cora and Arnav and Father and Mags and Finnick. Then I hear a scream and realize it's not my own. The axe never reaches me. Instead it buries itself in Carolina's chest, who had jumped in at the last minute.

The knife is in my hand and suddenly it's not. It's now stuck in Johnathan's chest. I don't have time to think about what I'd done. I am rushing toward Carolina, who's sprawled out on the dirt floor.

I hear the boom of a canon, but I know it's not hers when she whispers:

"Annie." I crouch beside her, taking her hand in mine. "Can you tell me about the ocean?" She asks.

"Of course, Carolina." I say, stroking back her hair. "The water is blue and green, but not green like the grass, a mixture of all the blues and greens in the world. The sun makes it shine and glisten, and when it sets the water turns pink and orange. If you tasted the ocean it would taste of salt, not of water, but you could spend hours in it and not know the difference. When you stand in the sea, the soft sand tickles your feet. It's like standing on a pillow. And the best part is when you dive in it and see all the different fish and coral of every color imaginable." She smiles and a tear falls down her cheek and the life leaves her eyes. I wipe away my own tears and close her eyes. It's the least I could do for the brave girl that gave up her life to save mine. It was the least I could do for my best friend.

Then I start running again.

I run and run until I reach our mudbank, the one we had been playing on only a few days ago. I realize that her birthday is tomorrow. She never turned eighteen. I sit behind our bush and cry, sobs wrecking my body _. I'm scared._ I remember her dying face and her death wish; to see the ocean, even if it's only in her mind. I cry because I've killed a person _. I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster._ Only monsters kill people and I'm a monster. I threw the knife. I killed him. I didn't even know his name. _I'm a monster._

I hear a branch snap, but I don't care. I don't look up. I want to die. I deserve to die.

"Annie?"

I instantly look up and see Tyson. He takes my shoulders and then hugs me. He helps me up even though I don't want any help.

"Don't touch me!" I scream. He is taken aback.

"What's wrong?"

"I killed somebody!" I yell at him, wanting him to understand. _No_ , I think, _I don't want him to understand. I want him to look at me and tell me what a horrible thing I am._

"It's ok, Annie. But you need to be quiet, now. Do you understand?" He asks.

I try, I try for his sake, because he didn't do anything wrong. So I try to quiet down.

"I broke the alliance. I'm not with the Careers and they're hunting me down." I hear the unnatural rustle of leaves and a change in the air. Tyson feels it, too. "Run, Annie! Run!" I scramble to my feet and take off, leaving him behind. I look back and see Tobias with his knife, aiming it at Tyson. I hit something hard and fall back to the ground. I look up and see Gloss smirking down at me. He grabs my arm, hard, and lifts me into a standing position. I cry out in pain and Tyson turns to look at me.

That's when Tobias tackles him.

Tyson is pinned to the ground, his spear out of reach. I feel a pair of strong hands holding my head, forcing me to look at him. I'm not able to look away, I can't move. My knife is on the ground. Tobias laughs and Gloss follows suit.

"How would you like to see us cut off your boyfriend's hair?" He says.

"Yeah, we'll start just below his chin."

"No! Stop!" I scram, willing someone, anyone, to hear me. I try to free myself but all I get it a hard punch in the stomach. I keep screaming, though. Tyson tries to free himself but her can't. He can't move any more than I can.

Tobias takes his knife and makes a shallow cut on Tyson's throat. I scream louder as I see the little blood droplets sliding down his neck like little blood snakes. Tyson screams and his mouth fills with blood and he chokes on it, gagging. Tobias make the cut deeper, until he finds the first strong vein. He cuts that and Tyson's face turns purple, blood flowing from his mouth, nose, and ears. I scream louder even, and I'm sure that every single tribute in the arena can hear me.

Finally, Tyson stops moving, but there is no cannon and Tobias is still cutting. Tobias cuts out vocal chords and takes them out for me to see. He cuts the tubes that connect his mouth to his stomach and the one that connects his lungs to his nose. Tyson can breathe at all, now, and his heart is about to stop.

Then Tobias finds his vertebrae. I hear the awful sound of metal against bone. Metal against bone. Metal against bone.

I see the white of his spine protruding from his half-severed neck. Tobias hastily cuts through the bone and leaves it sticking out. I hear the boom of a cannon. But Tobias isn't done yet. Gloss is laughing and I hear screams and I swear I can hear thousands of cannons. Tobias cuts through the final patch of skin. Then he stands up and kicks the body. Then, taking it by the hair, he brings Tyson's head over for me to see.

He didn't do a very good job cutting it. The veins and chords are dangling from the bottom and his spine is sticking out and the last flap of skin is longer than the rest. Tyson's eyes are rolled up in his head and his chin is dripping with blood and he smells terrible.

"Give your little boyfriend a kiss!" Tobias taunts, bringing the head closer. I try to move my head but Gloss holds me tight while Tobias smashes the head against mine. My lips touch his cold ones and stupidly, it think: _Well, this is not what I imagined my first kiss as_.

I try to scream but his blood ours into my mouth and I choke on it. I can't hear anything or see anything other than my friend's head, but apparently, the boys' attention turns to a parachute. Gloss's grip loosens for an instant, just for an instant, but I use it. I kick his crotch with my foot as hard as I can and he howls in pain. I take my knife from the ground and run, run, run.

I don't look back at all. I just run. I run through the whole day and part of the night and I take sharp turns and paths and I don't look back once.

Finally, I crumple to the ground, exhausted and satisfied. I turn to look but I see nothing other than trees and leaves and dirt. I don't feel anything in the air. I don't hear a thing. I look around and see a cave to the side of a small mountain. It's just big enough for one person. I don't even worry that the rocks will fall on me. I deserve it, anyways.

I drag myself to the cave and cry, hunched over, and vomit some blood.

I see Tyson's head and Carolina's face and the boy from seven.

I'm a monster. Tobias is a monster. Gloss is a monster. Everyone here is a monster.

I cry and scream, not caring about others. It's better if I die anyway. I wish I would.

I pull my hair and vomit some more and then cry again. I can't sleep at all because in my dreams I see Carolina's head being cut off by the girl from 6 and Tyson's head being cut off by Tobias and Finnick's head being cut off by Emerald.

I don't keep track of time. I don't know how long I've been in the cave. All I know is that there are ten parachutes out there and I haven't touched a single one. I have counted the cannon booms too. I heard three.

I rock myself back and forth and I don't know what's real or not. Did I kill Tyson? Or was it Tobias? Did the boy from 7 kill Carolina? Or was it Kristen? All I know is the arena and that there is no life outside it and that I could only hope to dream such good people as Finnick, Cora, Arnav, and Mags. There is only the arena. I made up everything else.

I hear more beeping and it's getting annoying. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I decide to go outside again to shut off whatever is making that sound even though I have a feeling that I know. I hear the boom of a cannon, but I don't really care. All I want to do is shut off that annoying sound. I don't try to wipe off my tears as I go outside to see. In front of me there's a dozen little parachutes. I open the one closest to me.

In it there's a little box. I open the little white box to find six little white boxes. I don't know what they are or why they came from the sky or why they're little or why they're white but I laugh. I don't know why but I laugh. I prop one in my mouth and it tastes sweet, like a memory. I remember a dream about Finnick, one of my favorites, and about him giving me one of these little things. I laugh again at the coincidence that the sky would give me six. Six little white things. _For a six-sugarcube kind of girl_.

Then I hear something strange. I turn around to run back to my little cave but find it gone. Instead, there's a large pile of rocks. How funny it is that when I go out of it, it seal itself. _Why, if I'd been there longer, they would have crushed me_. I laugh at this funny little coincidence. Then I hear another strange sound. I recognize this one, though. I don't know why. Maybe from a dream.

I turn back to the forest in time to see a huge mass of water coming towards me. I'm scared. Terrified. But I think I start to remember something about water. Words float in my mind: _Ocean, waves, swimming, boats, sea, sand_ … my head hurts from all those little words that I know not the meaning of.

I feel a crushing weight on me and I manage to take a little breath before I sink. _Sink_. _What a strange word_.

I let the water carry me. It's fun, I get to move around, weightless.

I remember a dream where I was moving on water. It seems so real. And then I remember.

It is real.

I muster a little bit of strength and push myself up to breathe. I need to survive this.

I hear another cannon. I gasp, thinking it might belong to me, and swallow water. I go back up again and cough, getting the water out.

I swim across the water, letting the strong current carry me. I don't know how much time I spend swimming, but I do know why I'm doing it.

Even though I don't deserve to live, Cora deserves to see me again. Arnav deserves to hug his sister, even though her soul is gone. And Finnick needs to know his efforts were worth it.

I go and get air. Suddenly, I feel something pulling me under. I fight and kick and try to get up, but something is grabbing my foot and making me sink.

I'm drowning, I think. I hear a cannon but the grip on my foot doesn't loosen. I kick and try to get air but all I get is water. Water fills my lungs and I hear a cannon and everything goes black.


	12. Mad Girl

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

 _I wonder if this parachute has more of those little white things_. I open my eyes to go outside to check.

As soon as I open them I close them again, blinded by bright lights. I try to open them again and I can only see white. I only see white and light. _Beep. Beep. Beep_.

I hear the annoying sound and I want to turn it off but I don't know how. I don't know where I am. I panic and scream, thinking maybe I'd rolled away from my little cave or maybe someone had come and kidnapped me.

"She's awake." I hear some strange voice say. I try to get up but I can't, I'm pinned down. I remember how Tyson was pinned down when they cut off his head.

I scream. Then I feel two arms pulling me into a sitting position, but I don't want anyone touching me, ever. I scream louder this time. I'm looking now at a white room that's full of machines, some of which are plugged into my body. I try to get them out but my hands are tied down. I see strange people floating by me, all wearing white.

"Annie. It's ok. You're ok. You've won the Games!" I hear the same voice say. It's coming from a woman in front of me. I laugh because she looks funny. She has red feathers all over her and a beak instead of a mouth. But then I'm confused, because I don't know any games and I've never won anything. But this woman is hurting me, I know that much. I start to cry because I want to go home. Someone comes near me with a horrible tube with a thin metal needle sticking out of it. I scream because the needle looks like a knife and because the man carrying it is going to hurt me.

All the people in the room are bad. They want to hurt me. He comes closer and the closer he comes the louder I scream until finally he decides it's better not to hurt me.

"Come on, Annie, we're going to give you a bath." The bird-woman says. I don't want her coming near me but she undoes my straps and frees me. I try to run but someone grabs me.

"Behave!" They yell. My ears hurt from it and I cry because of it. It don't know what a bath is but I know I don't want it. Someone forces me to walk on into a little room with some sort of pool that's only big enough for one human. I feel someone taking off my clothes but I don't want them to see me naked or to even come close to me.

They fill the pool with water and I scream because I know the water is going to attack me _. I don't want to go in. I don't want to go in. I don't want to go in_.

I hold on to the sides of the pool, not coming in contact with the water. I scream again, but the people are too strong. I'm forced into the water and it burns my skin. I'm drowning again or maybe I'm just imagining it, but I see a man coming towards me with a needle and a tube and I scream but he comes closer and he gets to me and I feel pain and then I feel nothing.

I wake up again and see the same blinding white roof. I sit up a little, surprised not to be restrained from this small action and I feel someone holding my hand. I turn to the side but I don't pull away because I know this hand.

 _Mags_.

She smiles and I try to smile back and she moves a little strand of hair from my face like I did to Carolina. I cry again, remembering her when she was dying. _Well_ , I think, _at least she did help someone win. It's a shame it wasn't anyone decent_.

 _Wait_ , I realize _, if Mags is here, then maybe Finnick is too_! She must see the hope on my face because she shakes her head. I cry because I want to see him again.

"He will be here soon." Mags says.

"Bath time." The bird-woman says. My eyes widen and I scream again, but she lifts me up and takes me away. Mags hurries after her, yelling at her to stop. Finally, she convinces her and the bird-lady puts me back where I was.

I fall asleep again even though I'm not tired.

 _Ten days later…_

I wake up and feel a hand in mine.

But this one is completely wrinkle-free.

I look to my side so fast it hurts. I see a pair of green eyes, looking at me with worry.

Finnick smiles again.

"Annie." He says.

"Don't expect much from her. All she does is scream." One of the people say. Finnick gives the woman such a nasty look that she hides behind her colleague.

"Finnick." I say and I smile. "Where am I?" A person rushes to my side.

"It's impossible! She talks! How did you make her talk? Annie, can you tell me how you feel?" She asks. I give her a nasty look because she's interrupting my talk with Finnick.

"You're in a hospital. You're in the Capitol."

I nod to Finnick, signaling that I understand.

The doctor takes my arm and shakes it painfully. I scream.

"Why won't you talk?!" Finnick jumps up from his chair.

"Don't talk to her that way! She just came out of the arena!"

"People have been waiting for two weeks to see their victor, we can't wait much longer!" The stupid doctor yells.

"I've killed worse people than idiot doctors." Finnick says with a certain cruel mysteriousness. It reminds me that Finnick has killed people. That reminds me that so have I. I start to cry again, remembering my knife in Johnathan's chest.

Finnick sits back down and takes my hand again, turning his attention back to me. The startled doctor turns away and leaves and I'm happy to note that he's gone very pale.

I keep crying silently, but Finnick notices right away. I am delighted when he pull my sheet off and crawls into the small bed with me. He holds me, careful for the wires that are keeping me alive.

He holds me while I sleep, just like he did all those weeks ago that seem like forever now.

 _One week later…_

"Annie. You have to wake up. Annie, I'm so sorry. I did everything I could. I'm sorry." I hear Finnick say. I open my eyes and see him next to me. To anyone else, he would look sorry, to me he's on the verge of crying.

"What's going on, Finnick?" I ask him, worried. I can't remember anything from yesterday.

"Today you have the playback. You're going to see it. You're going to see the Games."

"No." I whisper as the realization hits me. "No. No. No! I can't do that Finnick! Don't let them make me! Please!" I cry, begging him to understand. He looks even sadder now, but Finnick is good at hiding his feelings from others.

"Annie, I'm so sorry." At that moment the door opens and four strange people come in. I laugh because they look as funny as the bird-woman. One of them has pink skin with fire and the other one has cat-like features and the third has flowers sprouting from his ears. I stop laughing at their appearances when I recognize the fourth person.

My stylist, Louis.

"Annie! How great it is to see you again!" Louis says, coming closer.

I let come, but only him. I inch away from the others. I don't know them, and if I do, I don't remember, but they give off a Capitol feeling like radiators give off heat.

"It's ok, Annie. They're your stylists, remember? Rosalie and Tigris and Florio. They aren't going to hurt you." Finnick says. I let them come closer because I trust Finnick. I trust no one else except for Finnick and Mags in this world of blood and death.

Florio kisses my hand and Rosalie comments my hair and I don't like it. They make me uncomfortable now.

I hug Louis because I remember him. I don't let them help me stand, though. No one but Finnick is going to be able to do that without making me uncomfortable. Finnick helps me up and we walk to the door, but when we get there he lets go.

Panic consumes me. He's going to leave alone again. I'm going to be alone and at the mercy of my stylist and I can't do that.

"No, Finnick, please come with us." I beg. He nods and takes my hand again and we follow my stylists down to another room. Rosalie advances to take off my gown but I stop her.

"No!" I say, slapping away her hand.

"Annie, we have to clean you up!"

"No! I'll- I'll take a bath myself. Have Louis help me." I say. They must feel bad for me because they let me go in without them. Only me and Louis.

I take off my robe and look at myself in the mirror for the first time in three weeks. I gasp.

There are deep bags under my eyes because of my constant nightmares, my freckles have disappeared completely, my hair is thin, dirty, and messy, my face and body are white as a sheet, and I'm stick thin. My cheeks are hollow and all my ribs show, but I have muscles on my legs.

"Oh, my, Annie. What have you done to yourself?" Louis asks incredulously. I shake my head and he proceeds to fill the tub.

I get into the warm water, but I'm not afraid of it anymore. Water can't hurt me. Water is good. I love water.

I let him bathe me and rub oils on my skin, and he takes twice as long to clean me because I hadn't bathed since that day in the river with Carolina. I start to cry for her, because of her pretty face, contracted in a painful expression.

Finally he's done and we walk back to the other room to get ready for the playbacks.

My stylists crowd around a beautiful dress, trying to smooth out the edges. I look at it. It's green, like the dress I wore to my first interview. This one, though, is not decorated with shells. Instead, there's a net wrapped around it. It's supposed to be beautiful, but I don't react. There is nothing beautiful to me anymore.

I get it on and Rosalie does my makeup, trying to fill in my cheeks. I feel uncomfortable and the makeup is weighing down on my face. Tigris puts my hair up in a ponytail and claps her hands.

"I'm finished!"

"She looks much better now, thank goodness." Rosalie says.

"Agreed. Let's get her out of here!" Florio adds excitedly.

The doors of the hospital open and I get my first glimpse of the outside world after the arena. It looks the same.

The colors don't surprise me and the brightness only hurts my eyes. I long for my sea, my ocean. I long for my family and I realize that I'm going to see them again. I laugh because I'm going to hold Arnav in my arms and Cora is going to tell me how much they'd missed me.

Apparently, my stylists think I laughed because of the city, but Finnick knows the truth. He clasps my hand a little tighter. We all get into the car that is going to take me away from all those stupid bad doctors.

We enter the big building and go backstage and that's when I realize I can't do this. I can't. I can't. I can't.

"Annie, are you ok?" Finnick asks, seeing my frown. I shake my head and he hugs me.

"I can't do this, Finnick." I tell him, trying hard not to cry.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I'm Caesar Flickerman and I will be your host! Now, are you ready to see the new Victor?!" I hear Caesar say. A huge chorus of cheers follows. "Everybody, put your hands together for Annie Cresta!" I feel a hand on my back, gently pushing me forward and for a moment I turn around, thinking its Tyson. Instead I see Louis.

I sniff at the realization then walk to the stage, trying to seem happy. I have to be brave. If I'm brave I'll see my family again.

I take Caesar's hand and sit down on the chair. The TV screen in front of us turns on and the crowd cheers. The Capitol anthem goes on and the Games begin.

The first half an hour goes well. I see myself running through the woods with Carolina and see the District 3 girl design a trap to break the dam and electrocute the water and have it flood and kill us. I see Emerald die, killed by the girl from 6, who was killed soon after by Kristen.

The image changes back to Carolina and I running through the woods. I see up playing and then being followed by the wasps and then to us in the water. Then the boy from seven appear and I know _I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this_.

I see Johnathan throw the axe and Carolina jumping in to save me.

That's when I scream.

I scream and the tears flow out and I cover my ears so I don't have to hear her scream. I hear commotion over my screams and feel strong put gentle hands picking me up and I know it's Finnick. He carries me away from the horrible stage and the bright lights.

I cry into his shirt and he doesn't put me down until we're in the train.

"It's alright, Annie. You're going home, now. You'll see Cora and Arnav and you'll never have to step foot in the Capitol again." He says, rocking me back and forth as if I was a baby.

I stop crying abruptly at the thought of seeing my siblings again. _I can see them again. I can see them again. I can see them again._

 _Three days later…_

"We're here!" Garcia says excitedly. Mags and Finnick follow her into my room, where I'm already fully awake and dressed. I feel the train stop and I run through it. Finnick follows me until we reach the door.

I step outside and get my first view of my ocean. It's green as it's ever been and the waves hit the shore with the same force and the air is still warm. There is a huge crowd of people cheering me on, clapping their hands. I try to look for Cora and Arnav and Father, but I don't see them. I can tell something's wrong.

"Finnick? Where is my family?" I whisper to him. He doesn't look at me, but he says:

"I'm sure they're waiting at home for you. They don't want to hug you in the middle of this mess. They need privacy." That means I need to get home.

I wave at my people because I'm happy to be in my district. They cheer with enthusiasm and I remember how much I'd missed this place. However, I run home and open the door.

It's completely empty.

My smile vanishes and I run in, looking everywhere for my family. I enter my room and find a Peacekeeper.

"Where is my family?" I ask him. I feel a strong hand on my shoulder and I don't even need to look to know its Finnick. The Peacekeeper stands up and says:

"I'm sorry, Miss Cresta. Your family is dead."

 _It's not true. It's not true. It's not true_. Those are my last thoughts as I fall back and lose consciousness.

 _"_ _Hello, Annie. Back so early?" Cora asks, smiling as I enter our house. I have a seashell necklace in one hand and a rope in the other._

 _"_ _I guess so, Cora. Where's Arnav?" I ask, looking for my little brother. He jumps up from behind the couch, startling me. He laughs and runs to hug me. "I came back to take him to watch the sunset." His face lights up and he takes my hand and he lets me lead him to the beach._

 _There, we sit on the warm sand, watching the sea as the Sun goes down. The sun makes it shine and glisten, and when it sets the water turns pink and orange. Suddenly I get a sensation like I've thought that before, or said it, someplace. Maybe in a dream._

 _Then the beach is gone and so are the colors and I no longer feel a weight on my legs where Arnav is sitting._

There's something wet on my forehead and I'm lying on a soft surface with my hand in someone else's. I try to sit up but someone pushes my down gently and I panic, remembering the horrible doctors. I open my eyes and instantly relax, looking into Mags's deep blue orbs. I turn my head to find Finnick holding my hand. I look around and see that I'm in my house.

"What happened?" I ask to no one in particular.

"I'm so sorry, Annie. I'm so sorry." Finnick says as tears flow down his cheeks and onto my hand. "Your family- they drowned. Well- well they didn't really drown. The President killed them. But he says they drowned."

"Annie! Arnav! I brought sweets!" Cora says as she comes towards us, looking beautiful as ever in her bathing suit. She hands us a little bow and Arnav opens it greedily. Inside, there are a dozen sugarcubes. I get that feeling again, that something is not right. I clear my head, knowing that his is exactly the way things are supposed to be. "Annie, are you alright?" Cora asks, but her voice is different. It's grave and gentle.

And then I don't see either of them anymore, instead I see two very worried people standing over me.

"Annie, are you alright?" Finnick asks.

"Where did Cora go? And Arnav? And the Sun?" I ask confused.

"Annie. They're gone. They drowned." Finnick says.

But that can't be true. Silent tears start falling from my cheeks when I remember whet the Peacekeeper told me. _They're dead. They're dead. Dead like Tyson and Carolina and Gloss and Tobias and Johnathan and Kristen and Emerald_.

I scream and cover my ears because I don't want to hear anything else.

I picture Cora's head being cut off little by little by little and scream some more and then I see Arnav with a knife in his little chest and I scream some more.

I feel Finnick picking me up and I wrap my arms around his neck and scream into his chest. I cry until I can't cry anymore because Cora will never get married and Arnav will never become the compassionate man that he was supposed to be.

I'm soothed by Finnick's constant heartbeat because it tells me that someone I love is alive.

I wake up on the couch again. On some mats on the floor next to me I see Mags and Finnick sleeping peacefully.

I hear a knock on the door and I want it to stop because it's as annoying as the beeping. Knock. Knock. Knock.

Finally, I stand up and open the door and gasp when I find Spencer. I realize I'm wearing old clothes from the Capitol and I haven't brushed my hair since the interview and that my mouth and eyes are swollen from crying and that my cheeks are red. I never washed off my makeup from the interview and I have black tears all over my face from my makeup and crying.

"Hey Annie." He says sadly. I realize that he lost Cora, too. They were going to get married and live happily. I do something I'd always done with Spencer but is much more different now. I hug him.

I'm surprised that he hugs me back and he cries into my hair silently and I cry with him. I lost a sister. He lost a wife.

"I just came here to tell you that the funeral is in two weeks and I'll be organizing it." He says when we pull away. Of course he is. He's the oldest. But it still feels wrong. "If you want you can help." He says, but I could never do that. Instead I give him some advice:

"I'll be right back. Stay here." I go in and get what I want, then come back out to show it to him.

"Don't you dare bury my little boy in a suit, he's seven. His favorite color is blue. Put this in his hand." I say and hand him a little toy boat. Arnav's favorite toy boat. The one he'd play with every day, pretending he was the captain and he was going to save the day in some island. "You choose Cora's dress, but her favorite color is orange like the sunset. You should know. Put this on her." I say, and I hand him the first necklace I'd ever made. I made it with her when I was five. When we finished I gave it to her and she wore it every day since. "Give Father a sailor hat and bury him in sailor clothes. He was the captain of his ship after all. And bury him next to Mother." I say, getting a little choked up.

He left without saying anything else. He just took their tokens and nodded.

"Come one, Annie. Time to get a house." I hear Mags say. They must have woken up. She puts her hand on my shoulder and kisses the top of my head.

Finnick takes my hand and then I feel something click in my brain. A puzzle piece that has just been added to the huge puzzle that is my life.

I understand Spencer now, how he loved Cora more than anything in the world.

I understand the feeling Mom had for that rusty sailor that couldn't make much money.

I feel now the full blast of pain in life.

At the same time I feel the greatest relief I've ever known.

I feel as sad as when I had to say goodbye to my family.

But I feel as happy as I had been when I was with them.

I know I've just climbed another step in the long staircase that there is ahead of me.

I'm going mad, I know that for a fact.

Because I miss my family dearly.

But I have a new family now.

And I realize something that now, not only does it mean the world to me, but it's opened up a world beyond it.

I realize now, that I'm in love with Finnick Odair.

It's crazy, that I love such a magnificent person, even though I'm just a small little shell.

I look up at him and decide I love everything about him: his smile, his dimples, the shape of his jaw, his tan skin, his strong arms, his kindness, his jokes, his smarts, and most of all, his green eyes.


	13. The Best Five Years of My Life

**Please note that this chapter is really a big series of one-shots about the years leading up to the Quarter Quell**

We all walk together, Mags, Finnick, and I.

We take the long walk to the Victor's Village, but while we go, people stop and point at us, whispering. Seventeen year-old girls faint at the sight of Finnick, but most people from the rich side of 4 stop and stare and whisper.

"That's the new victor…"

"I hear she's gone mad…"

"Yeah, she's a lunatic, that one…" People say. Finnick holds my hand tighter because he hears them too, and he turns his head and gives them such a terrible look that they back down. Some of them even run. I feel bad for them because they're scared.

Finally, we reach the Village where I will be living from now on. The fence surrounding it is tall and iron, but Finnick unlocks the gate easily with his key. I gasp at the beauty of the Village. The path we're walking on is made of sandstone and is lined up with shells. There's a fountain in the middle with the shape of two mermaids made of pure white quartz and the water that comes from it is clear. The houses that line up on one side are all as white as the fountain.

They all look the same, with amazing columns that line up the elevated porch and an entrance with white staircases. There are grand windows on the front and the house is majestic and tall.

"That's yours, and the one on the left is Finnick's and the one on the front is mine." Mags says, pointing to a beautiful house on the end of the street. "They all have their private beaches on the back. You're going to love it here." We go to my house and open the doors. I gasp at the beauty of the entrance hall. The walls are painted white with a pattern of waves so that it looks like you're in the beach. There is a great spiral staircase in the back and a few doors that lead to the living room, kitchen, dining room, e.c.t. I enter the living room. It's as large as my house. Well, my family house. The couches are blue and there is a huge TV screen. One wall is missing and instead there's the kitchen. The kitchen is big, too. It has tons of space to put things in and a little islet in the middle. A door leads to the dining room, complete with a chandelier and a huge glass table. We walk through other rooms, like a playroom for future children and a small garden and smaller living rooms and a library. We climbed the spiral stairs afterwards and came into a grand hallway.

There are five rooms in the house, one of them being the master bedroom. It has white walls and a huge bed. They bed is really soft. There are a few windows, but not enough for my taste. On the wall opposite the bed, there are a series of closets where I would put my clothes.

I find it nice here, but I miss my home. My true home. But I'm not ready to go back. It's full of haunted memories.

"Finnick and I think it's better if you sleep at my house tonight, but it's your choice." Mags says. I think about it and decide that I do want to go with Mags. I'm afraid of sleeping on my own, as childish as it sounds.

"I would like that very much, thanks." I say kindly. Mags takes my hand and we cross over to her house, leaving Finnick behind to his.

Mags shows me a spare bedroom and I lie down. Sleep doesn't come for hours until I finally drift off.

I dream about my family and about them all drowning on our boat.

I wake up screaming.

 _Five days later…_

"Annie, can you do me a favor?" Mags asks that morning. "Can you go to the market and get me some potatoes? I need them for tonight's dinner." The truth is that I rarely ever went to the market before the Games, but I say yes because you just don't say no to Mags.

I walk to the market, noticing the people that whisper behind my back that I'm mad. I don't defend myself because it's true. _I'm mad, mad, mad_.

I keep walking until I reach the market. The market is set up close to the Justice Building and is basically just a bunch of tents with food and tons of people. I look around, trying to find the potatoes, but they're nowhere to be seen.

"Hello, what's your name?" I hear someone ask. I see Finnick standing in front of me clutching an apple. At first I get angry and confused. Then I remember our conversation. I smile and answer:

"Annie Cresta."

"Finnick Odair. Let me tell you that you look lovely today." I blush and he laughs a bit. "Would you like to know where the potatoes are? A little birdie told me you need them." I laugh now and nod, lacing my arms around his.

"If you're going to call Mags a little birdie I doubt you'll live long enough to find them."

 _Later that day…_

Finnick and I are watching the sunset on his private beach. We watch as the sun sets over the water, turning it pink and I'm proud to say that my description of it was perfect. Carolina had died with this sight.

I look at him and see how beautiful he looks with the setting sun's golden rays on his face. It's a comfort to know that he's even more beautiful on the inside.

"Annie. I want to tell you something." He says and smiles nervously. He looks at me and his eyes sparkle like the water. "You're like no girl I've ever met. You understand me. You help me, and you don't think I'm bad. You're different, and that's wonderful. And you're beautiful and gentle and kind, and- and I love you, Annie."

I gasp in shock because this can't be. It's impossible. A person like Finnick can't love me and I want to tell him that, but when I try, something else comes out:

"Can I kiss you?" I ask, surprised. He looks surprised, too, but when he smiles happiness flows into his eyes.

"You can always kiss me, Annie. No matter what." He says. I close my eyes and lean in and kiss him.

It's soft, but it allows me to explore his mouth. He tastes sweet, probably due to the sugarcubes he eats every day. He is gentle, not pushing too far, only just right.

We walk back to Mags' to eat dinner holding hands. When Mags opens the door, she looks us over. Then she smiles mischievously and I have that feeling that she knows something that I don't. The whole meal, she keeps looking at us and then back at her plate. Us then back at her plate. Us then back at her plate.

"So how was your day?" She finally asks. Finnick looks up from his plate. He'd been smiling at it dreamily all dinner.

"It was… fine." I answer.

"Nothing special?" She tried again. My cheeks go red, remembering Finnick's sweet lips.

"Mags, are you up to something?" Finnick asks.

"No, I'm just asking how your relationship came to be, that's all." She says. My cheeks turn an even brighter red.

"You knew?" Finnick asks her incredulously. Mags smiles even more mischievously. "Wait a minute, this was you plan all along! You told me to mentor her! You knew this would happen!" Finnick realizes when Mags starts laughing.

 _The next day…_

I'm eating lunch with Finnick and Mags when I hear a phone ring.

"I'll get it." Finnick offers and he gets us and walks to the home phone. He picks it up and listens. I swear his face turns white instantly. He looks worried sick, so pale now. I get worried at what might be happening, but it's not until he puts down the phone and walks back to us that he tells us what happened.

"Who was that?" Mags asks.

"President Snow." Finnick says.

 _"_ _Where am I?" I ask, confused._

 _"_ _You're in your room, Shell. You fell asleep yesterday, watching the sunset." Cora replies. That makes sense, I know, but I feel like I should be somewhere else. I also feel a terrible worry. I don't know why, but I do._

 _"_ _Cora?" I hear Spencer say from the kitchen. "I- I need help!" Oh no, I think. Cora rolls her eyes and goes to check what the problem is. A while later she comes back full of flour._

 _"_ _Guess what?" She asks. "Spencer just dropped our last bag of wheat."_

 _"_ _Annie."_ A voice says. Suddenly, I'm back in the present.

"Sorry." I tell Finnick.

"Don't worry, Annie. It's ok. It's just that Snow called. He- he said that I couldn't show that I loved you to anyone. He says that the citizens in the Capitol would kill us if we did." I feel like a horrible weight has dropped on my shoulders. It's not fair that we can't love each other _. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair._

 _The next day…_

I can't sleep, and not only because of the monsters that haunt me or because I have discovered that I have the ability to enter a completely different world within my head. It's because I hate waking Mags up.

She's seventy-five. She needs her sleep, but I keep waking her up with my screams.

 _That's it_ , I tell myself. _I can't stay here any longer_. I walk out of the house, careful not to make a sound. The air outside is chilly and my pajamas are light. I try to walk towards my house, but I can't go in _. I'm scared. I'm a coward, coward, coward._

Instead I go to Finnick's house. The door is unlocked in case Mags ever needs anything and I slip in soundlessly.

I walk up the staircase and knock on the door to his room. It opens and I see a very sleepy, but handsome, Finnick Odair. He's wearing pants only, leaving his chest bare. I blush a deep red even though I know that he loves me.

He pulls me into a hug and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Can I stay here tonight?" I ask him.

"Of course, Annie." He says. "There are spare rooms down the hall. Take your pick." I nod and head down.

I have nightmares as bad as before and I can't sleep at all.

 _Two days later…_

"Goodnight." I say to Finnick after kissing him. I walk to my bedroom down the hall. I climb in my bed and let the darkness engulf me. I see shadows on the walls that look like people and I have to try hard to calm down, telling myself _it's not real, it's not real, it's not real._

I have a dream that I'm with Tyson in the arena and that his head is getting cut off. I watch Tobias cut it off, little by little by little.

"Give your little boyfriend a kiss!" Tobias says, but the head he's holding is now Finnick's and he brings it closer and the second my lips touch his I'm running straight out of my bed.

I run through the hallways, trying to clear my head of the horrid images until I find the right door. I open it and it wakes Finnick up.

"Can I stay here with you?" I ask nervously, afraid I'm asking for too much.

"Of course, Annie."

I scramble to get in. Then I lie down next to him, putting my hand on his bare chest. Then I remember about his clients.

"Is this ok?" He nods so I relax and he puts his arms around my waist.

I don't have a single nightmare that night.

 _Five months later..._

I feel a soft kiss on my lips, then my forehead, then my cheeks, and then my lips again.

I don't open my eyes, though. Instead I enjoy the feeling of Finnick's lips on mine. Finally, I decide it's too much and my eyes flutter open.

"Happy birthday, Annie." He whispers. Oh my god, I'd almost forgotten. It's August 28th. It is my birthday. With all those nightmares and monsters and heads and blood I'd forgotten.

 _I'm eighteen now_. I decide to have fun today, because Carolina never got to have an eighteenth birthday, so I'm going to enjoy it for her.

I sit up and kick off the blankets I share with him. I go to my closet, which has a few clothes and personal belongings from my old room, and pick out a dress.

This one is my favorite for going to the beach. It's white and flowy and soft. I go to the bathroom and change into my dress, then I put my hair up in a ponytail. Unsatisfied, I put my hair back down and simply take two strands of hair at the front and tie them together at the back of my head. I go back out and see that Finnick is normally dressed in a light shirt that to me seems to warm for late August.

"Can I put my hands over your eyes?" He asks. I think about it for a while. I hate the dark more than anything, but it's Finnick and he would never hurt me.

"Sure." He comes towards me and puts his hands on my eyes, making the world black.

I walk in the darkness, but with Finnick's help we reach our destination easily.

"Ready?" He asks.

"Yes." I answer, and he uncovers my eyes.

I'm looking at our kitchen (I decided long ago to simply accept the fact that I live here now). Mags is here, holing a messy cake. The cake has blue icing and has sugarcubes placed here and there. The frosting is not smooth at all, but in tufts. I can tell Finnick made it. I love it, I love Mags, and I love him.

"Like it?" Finnick asks with some hope in his voice. I smile brightly at the delicious cake and at Mags and then I turn around and kiss him. He responds with enthusiasm, lifting me off my feet and twirling me in the air.

"Happy birthday, love." He whispers between kisses. Finally, we break apart and help Mags take the cake to our beach.

We eat in the bright white sand, enjoying the cake and playing games. Suddenly, Finnick lifts me up and carries me into the sea, dropping me in. I get out of the water with my dress dripping wet to meet a hysterical Mags and Finnick.

"Well that was not very nice." I say with my hands on my hips, even though I had fun too. Finnick laughs then says:

"Come, Annie, I want to show you something." He takes my hand and leads me to the sea. We walk in together, not caring that we're both wearing clothes. We keep walking until the water is up to our chins. Then Finnick says:

"Take a lot of air and go under." I do as he tell me and go under the bright blue water of our little beach. I open my eyes and I've done it so many times already that it doesn't bother me. I turn to see Finnick swimming by me, holding my hand. We swim out until I'm positive that we're several miles underneath the surface. Then he points ahead and I see tons of beautiful coral. They're every color: bright pink, soft orange, dark purple, even green and blue.

We only come up occasionally to get air, but we spend hours exploring the beautiful reef. It's not until the sun has set that we're back on the beach. I'm wrinkled and tired, but I feel great.

 _Two days later…_

(This is what a regular day would be like for Finnick and Annie)

 _The knife is in my hand and suddenly it's not. It's now stuck in Johnathan's chest. I don't have time to think about what I'd done. I am rushing toward Carolina, who's sprawled out on the dirt floor._

I scream as I wake up, still seeing the images from my Games.

"It's ok, Annie. You're safe here." Finnick says, holding me tight like he does every night. I nod repeatedly, trying to convince myself that I'm safe with Finnick. After a few minutes of shaking with fear, I manage to fall back asleep.

I hear moving and I know Finnick's awake now. I feel lips on mine, which only confirms my suspicion. As great as it feels, I know I have to open my eyes.

"Good morning, Finn." I tell him. He smiles against my mouth and I get up. I quickly change in the bathroom into a nice white dress. Almost all of my dresses are white; I like simple colors. I brush my hair and leave it down, which I find more comfortable. I go back into our room and I have an idea. I pretend to stretch while I say:

"Finnick?"

"Yeah?"

"Race you down!" I exclaim, running to the kitchen.

"Hey! That's not fair!" I hear him say. I run down the stairs and I'm almost to the kitchen when I feel two strong hands on my waist, lifting me into the air. I can't run anymore.

"Hey!" I chide. But he doesn't put me down, instead, he turns me around so I'm facing the stairs and then takes off towards the kitchen. I run after him, but I'm too slow.

"I win!" He says victoriously. I kiss him, making it seem long but cutting it short, leaving him wanting more. That's his punishment for cheating.

We prepare breakfast, which for us is basically just coffee and some cookies. Finnick makes jokes and we laugh, enjoying our morning together. We sit on the couch and watch TV to relax.

"Hello, I'm Tristan Blue, here to give you the news." Tristan Blue is the news reporter for District 4. "Do you live near the Victor's Village? If so, you will know what I'm talking about. For the past two months, new victor Annie Cresta has been screaming every night, waking us up. Poor girl's gone mad, but will she have to keep us up all night? If you're watching this, Annie, get a hold of yourself!" Finnick's coffee mug shatters and he rushes to change the channel.

 _"_ _Why are you crying?" Arnav asks. Truth is: I don't know._

 _"_ _I don't know. I just feel sad." I tell him. He comes over to me and gives me a hug._

 _"_ _Are you still sad?" He asks._

 _"_ _No, Arnav, thank you. Can you call Finnick for me, though?" I ask him. All of a sudden, I regret it. Why would Finnick Odair want to know about me? I still have a strange feeling that he would._

 _"_ _Finnick Odair? Are you ok, Annie? Do you want me to call Daddy?" He asks._

 _"_ _No, I'm sorry, Arnav, I just had a dream, that's all." Yes, a dream, that's it._

 _"_ _We're back!" I hear Cora yell from the entrance. Arnav rushes to hug her and I follow him, knowing that Cora and Spencer will need help with their bags. They went shopping for the wedding._

 _"_ _Can I get those for you?" I ask them. Cora smiles and nods. Spencer almost trips over something on the floor and Cora has to right him. It's almost funny how much Spencer needs Cora to ground him and how much Cora needs him to help her have fun._

At first I think I'm alone. Then I turn my head and see Finnick looking at me.

"How long was I Away?" I ask him.

"An hour." He answers. I feel terrible, he's probably been sitting there for an hour, waiting for me to come back to him.

"Let's go to the beach." I say because I have fallen in love with our little beach with bright, soft, sand, and water of the purest aqua.

We walk around the outside of the house, holding hands, and get to our little paradise.

I look at him at the same time as he looks at me and we make a silent decision. We run towards the water.

We jump in together, holding hands, and soaking our clothes. We both surface and I splash him and he splashes me and water gets into my eyes and mouth but I don't care. I get an idea. I go under, not coming out in a long time, but meanwhile I'm traveling between Finnick's legs. When I finally surface again it's behind him and instantly, I jump on his back. I'm not strong enough to pull him under, though. Instead, he grabs me and brings me to his front. Then he twirls me, bridal style. My arms are around his neck and one of his arms supports my legs and the other my back. He twirls me fast and I get dizzy. The world spins around me in a beautiful mass of colors and shapes and I laugh because I love him and I love our beach and I love us. For a moment I allow myself to believe that everything is alright. That there is no Hunger Games and that my family is waiting for me at home and Finnick and I are together and we show it to the world whenever we want to.

Finally he puts me down and helps me steady myself. I decide to float like I used to do. Just float on the water. I lie down and let it carry me. I don't think. It's just me and the water now. _Just me and the water_.

"You know you look like an angel when you do that?" Finnick says after a while. "With your hair spread out over the water and your white dress that looks like wings. You're the most beautiful angel I've ever set my eyes upon." I smile peacefully and I'm not looking at the blue sky anymore but at a pair of green oceans.

"Hey." I whisper.

"Hey." He whispers back, leaning in for a kiss. I let him, and we kiss passionately. He picks me up, still kissing me, and carries me to shore.

"Come on." I tell him, smiling into his lips. "Let's go eat lunch." We walk to Mags's house, holding hands, our lips swollen from kissing.

We knock on the door and Mags opens up. When she sees us she smiles happily and lets us in.

"Lobster for lunch!" She tells us when we're sitting down at the table. I live lobster quite a bit, I hadn't had it since before the Games. She brings it in and I look at it and notice it's very red. Finnick notices too, because his eyes go big. _The lobster is red, red, red, like blood_. Tyson had blood, he was covered up in it. Carolina had blood, too. I wonder if I have blood that red. _And, does Finnick?_ I hope I never see blood that red again. I don't realize I'm screaming until Finnick has his arms around me. My face is wet, I suppose I had been crying. I check to make sure my tears aren't made of blood. They're not. If they had been, they would look like Tyson's little blood snakes. I remember those little blood snakes just fine.

"Annie, it's alright. You're with me and Mags and you're safe. You're in District 4. You're safe." He says, holding me close. Mags hugs me next, and she looks very sad.

"It's ok, Mags. I know you didn't mean to. I'll eat the lobster, if you want." Mags shakes her head and strokes my hair. She leaves the room again and I'm left with Finnick. He doesn't talk. He just rocks me back and forth.

Finally, Mags comes back carrying a few sandwiches. We eat in silence and when we're done, Mags says:

"Well, you two should go to the market. I need some apples, oranges, and bananas." I don't want to go. I wouldn't ever leave the Victor's Village if I could. It's not like I used to go anywhere much before the Games, either, just the beach. People out there are mean, they're bad. They're not monsters, like I am, but they hurt me. I grew up liking everyone, thinking each person out there acted on kindness like I tried to. But I was wrong. I know that now. I laugh because it's funny that now, I'm mad, mad, mad, and yet I know more about others. Before I was sane, but I was blind. I wish I could be blind again. I wish I could simply not notice the people talking behind my back about how crazy I am. But I know now.

The worst part of being outside isn't that people whisper as I pass by, or the occasional trip. It's that I can't kiss my Finnick. I can't hold his hand. I can't hug him. I can only look at him and wish for the freedom that other couples get. The freedom to talk, to touch, and to kiss.

Finnick and I walk out a bit sadder than before. He doesn't like being outside, either.

We begin walking. Finnick keeps his head held high while I hide within myself. Because that's what people expect. If there is one thing I've learned from the arena is that "people" is the enemy.

It feels like forever has passed when we are back on Mags's front steps. We give her the fruit and go into the living room. There, we play games like puzzles or cards.

Finnick and I eat dinner with Mags, then we go back home to sleep. I change into my pajamas and Finnick into his and we get into bed. I like our bed very much. It's safe, like our little beach. We don't have to pretend we're anything other than ourselves. There, we're not the Capitol sex god and the mad girl. We're just Finnick and Annie.

 _Some time later..._

I'm lying on our bed beside Finnick. We had decided to sped the day doing absolutely nothing. Just be together.

"Finnick? What would you want your future to be like?" I ask him. He takes my hand and I can hear the smile in his voice.

"I want to spend it with you." He stops and thinks something over, then he keeps going: "In a little house by the sea, with sand on our floor and the sound of the waves breaking over rocks."

"I want a ring on my finger, Finnick. I want children with sea-green eyes and golden hair who laugh and play all day and whose names are never in a glass bowl. I want to wake up to the golden sky and go to the beach all day."

"All I ever wanted was a family." He whispers. "I grew up without a father, wanting to be loved by more than just one person. All I wanted since I was small was a family. I wanted a daddy that would take me fishing and some siblings to play with. I didn't want my mom to be stressed all day. I just wanted a family." A tear slides down his cheek and he chokes up a little. To help him, I continue talking about the wonderful future we will have, or would have, if it wasn't for the Games.

"We'll live in a small house, not like this one. As far away from the Village as we can get. Where there'd be no Games."

"We could go on picnics on the golden sand, and our children will make shells to decorate it, and we could help them. You could teach them how to fish. We could go outside and play with them."

"We could be happy."

 _Some weeks later…_

I open my eyes and check the time, waiting until the last moment to wake Finnick. We hardly gets sleep between my constant screaming and his nightmares. The clock reads 7:30.

"Oh, no! Finnick, wake up! My stylists will be here in half an hour!" Finnick jumps up, wide awake now. Today is the start of the Victory Tour, something I'm not looking forwards to, and my stylists obviously can't know I sleep with Finnick Odair.

We kick the heavy blankets off and run to change. I quickly brush my teeth and hair and drink a small cup of coffee.

"See you soon!" I tell Finnick as I kiss him goodbye. Then I run to my house.

Ten minutes later I hear a knock on my door.

"Hello Rosalie! Florio! Tigris! Louis! Garcia! Come in!" I tell them, faking excitement.

"How wonderful it is to see you again, darling." Garcia says.

"Yes! Wonderful!" Florio repeats.

"Good to see you're eating again." Louis says with a wink.

"Well, don't waste any more time or we'll miss the train!" Garcia chides. We all walk upstairs to my bathroom, which is neat and clean. They just don't know it's from disuse.

I take a quick shower and then sit down on a stool that Louis bring. Afterwards, Rosalie gets started on my makeup. She doesn't so much, just cover my freckles and hide the bags under my eyes. Finally, Tigris curls my hair and announces that we will be going to Finnick's house to get him ready. Rosalie, Garcia, and she practically run outside. Louis takes my arm and we go to Finnick's house.

The girls fight for who is going to knock, but there is no need. The door opens and Finnick appears, dashing as ever.

"Come in, ladies." He says with a wink to no one in particular. His eyes flicker to mine and it says all of the unsaid: _Hey, love. Are you feeling alright? I hope they're not giving you a hard time._

"Welcome, to Finnick Odair's house! I give you a tour, Annie. I've been here a lot." Garcia says, winking at me like she comes here every weekend. She takes my arm and walk further into our house, slightly brushing Finnick as she passes by. Finnick smiles at her charmingly, but I see what's underneath that smile. Its years of loathing and disgust and the urge to lie down and cry.

"So, Annie, this is the kitchen. Come a little further and you'll see the living room…" I pay attention, but just to be polite. I know this house like the back of my hand. I could draw it with my eyes closed. "… And, up there is the bedroom. Well, you can imagine what steamy things go on in there." She giggles and I laugh because I'm thinking about the steamy things that happen in his bedroom just yesterday. Finnick and I got into a fight. A pillow fight.

It was a ton of fun. It started when I was walking out of the room in the morning and he took a pillow and hit me softly, but I took it personally. I picked up another pillow and hit him hard, then it evolved into a huge pillow fight. We ended up exhausted, lying in our bed.

"Alright, I'm ready." Finnick says, appearing from another door. Garcia walks out, expecting to be followed. I am about to go after her when Finnick puts his arm on my shoulder.

"One minute, Garcia. Mentor-Victor talk." Garcia shrugs and keeps walking, but her disappointment is obvious. Finnick closes the door and hugs me, holding my head from behind and his other arm on my waist. It is the way he'd held me all those months ago, when I saw him cry for the first time. It means he wants help, but he wants to protect me at the same time.

"I hate her." I say. That adds to the growing list of people that I hate. Snow, myself, Garcia.

"I hate her, too. Annie, she bought me. She does every year. She is one of the worst. I hate her." The realization struck me like lightning and I almost fell. Garcia's hands have been on his body, my Finnick's body. Hands that I trusted. I trusted her. She took him, she makes him cry, she makes him sob on my shoulders, and she makes him want to die.

I kiss him softly, in a comforting way, until he relaxes.

"Better?" I whisper to him soothingly.

"Better." He whispers back as he delivers one more kiss. We hear the door open and we jump apart, separated once more by this cruel world.

"Come on! Time to go." Louis says. I try to convince myself that it's all right, that the Victory Tour won't be that hard. But it's really Finnick's comforting hand that convinces me of it. We walk out and into the train. I don't want to leave District 4. I don't want to leave our house. I want to lie down on our little beach or float or stay in bed.

Garcia takes my arm and leads me to my compartment.

"Come out when you're ready." She says, knowing that I'm about to cry. She shuts the door and I break down, sobbing into my hands _. I don't want to go back! The people in the Capitol are bad, bad, bad._ The door opens.

"Annie, you dropped your bags! There is glass in there!" Cora yelps. I look down and see two bags on the floor. I pick them up, checking for broken glass.

"Nothing broke, Cora." I tell her. She calms down and returns to carrying bags of decorations. Stephen grabs her from behind, something she hates to love, and lifts her into the air. I turn around, feeling as if I am intruding in a private moment. Suddenly I get an image in my mind of someone doing that to me, but that's crazy. I have never kissed a boy before. But I still have a memory of sweetness I can't explain.

I feel someone's arms around me, and I'm not standing anymore, I'm sitting on the floor, my head on someone's chest. I feel rhythmic kisses, soft and gentle, on my head. I look up and one of them lands on my mouth.

"Are you Back?" Finnick asks, sounding tired.

"I'm back." I tell him. I allow myself to relax and sleep in Finnick's arms.

I feel around the small bed, but it's empty. Finnick is gone. What if he's dead?!

"Finnick! Finnick!" I scream. The door opens and he runs in, his pupils small in fear. He's tense all over, but I run and hug him. He strokes my hair and whispers calming words until there is a knock on the door. We jump away from each other just in time.

"Come on! We arrive in District 6 in an hour!" Garcia tells us. She looks us over and frowns.

"I just came in, Garcia. You know that I only love one girl." _Yes, he does, and it's me_.

I walk out, wanting to shove Garcia, but I can't bring myself to it. I'm too soft even to hurt the most repulsive beings.

"Alright, just keep in mind what happens when you get to the Capitol." Then she leaves, leaving Finnick and I in shock. I turn around to look at Finnick, but it happens in slow motion. By the time I get to him, tears are already falling from his eyes. I take him in my room and close the door. I take his hand and sit on my bed, pulling him down with me.

"Annie, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He keeps whispering. I shake my head, not knowing why he was apologizing but wanting to help.

"You don't have to apologize for anything."

"Y-yes I do. I'm sorry that you have to be landed with me. I'm sorry that every time I touch you, it's with these dirt hands. I'm sorry that you weren't my first kiss. I'm sorry that you have to love such a horrible person. I'm so sorry, Annie. I'm so sorry." I look at him in the eye and take his hands to my mouth. I kiss them over and over, until there is no place left for me to kiss. Then I kiss his lips over and over until I taste like him. Then I take his hand at put it over my heart.

"You're not a monster." I tell him.

 _An hour later…_

"Welcome to District 6." The mayor tells us as he leads us through. He opens the door and the first thing I notice is the light. Then the unusual cheers. Normally, when a tribute wins, the other Districts don't cheer. They just hold eerie silence. I don't understand for a minute until I remember that the man I love is the most loved man in all of Panem. I look at him and see he's looking at his feet, smiling. He lifts his head up and lets all the people see his most dashing smile.

The mayor says a few words, introducing me to the people. Then I read from the card Garcia gave me, not thinking about the words, like Finnick had instructed.

 _Half a year later…_

"Welcome! To the 71st annual Hunger Games, where we choose, one fortunate man and woman, to compete in this luxury event! Now we will choose our two tributes. As usual: ladies first!" Garcia walks to the glass container that has my name in it. She's going to pick me. She's going to pick me. She's going to pick me. I look at Finnick, who's standing on the stage. She's going to pick me. She's going to pick me. She's going to pick me.

Garcia brings her hand into it and plucks out a piece of paper.

I start screaming, covering my ears so I don't have to hear her say Annie Cresta.

I feel Mags holding me, but I don't stop screaming. If I don't hear it, it's not true.

I feel two pairs of strong arms under my arms, lifting me up and carrying me away. They shove me to the ground in front of the Victor's Village and say:

"Annie Cresta, you are now banned from going to the Reapings." And with that, the two Peacekeepers leave, leaving me alone one the cold ground.

 _Four (mostly happy) years later…_

I float on the cool water of the beach in front of the Justice Building, my white dress and hair fanning out from all sides. Every time I do this, Finnick tells me I look like an angel.

Right now, Finnick in the Capitol, and only a street from here, everyone else is watching the reaping replays. The water drowns out most sound, so I have no idea about who else is getting picked. It's just me and the water, me and the water, me and the water…

Then I hear screams. I swim as fast as I can, getting to shore. I run in my wet dress to the plaza, hoping I'm not too late.

I look at the large screen that shows all the other kids. That's where the screaming comes from. I see a teenage girl run to hug a little girl, around twelve. The older girl is screaming:

"I volunteer! I volunteer!" As she runs at the youth. That's strange. No one ever screams when they volunteer. Unless…

I hope the girl wins. I hope she goes out there and wins and comes back home and makes her sister happy.

Cora would have done the same for me.


End file.
